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Happy Friday, Spursland! Poor ol' Salmon Chase is out of commission thanks to his laptop being stolen by the Illuminati, confirming all of your suspicions. That means that you'll have to put up with me for a little while as the provider of your morning Hoddle.
I think everyone has enjoyed the conversation over the past couple of days when we learned that Eric Dier played some DM for us behind closed doors. I think the discussion among everyone has been very constructive and it also prepares us for the possibility of seeing the youngster playing a little higher up the formation than we expected. Also, there's that whole "trying to fleece Aston Villa of their Benteke money" going on. Come on, Timmy. You know you want to just give Levy a blank check to get your 30-year-old striker!
And now the "news"....
West Bromwich Albion prepare improved deal for Saido Berahino? - Sports Mole
Dear Tony Pulis: Daniel Levy has a nice stack of cash for you if you just forget about this and send him our way.
Southampton dealt another major defensive blow after Alderweireld's Tottenham exit. - Express
I feel bad for Gardos because this looks to be a pretty serious injury that will keep him out until the beginning of 2016, but Southampton is looking to be in deep trouble on the back line.
Benjamin Stambouli: 'Paris Saint-Germain have taken a gamble by signing me.'- Sports Mole
I'm actually looking forward to seeing how he does in Paris. I'm sad it didn't work out for him here, but this could really be a game changer for him in his career.
Manchester United: De Gea needs tour minutes to play against Spurs. - Manchester Evening News
Nah, he really doesn't. In fact, just keep him on the bench the entire tour. I'm sure he won't be rusty on August 8!
College Football: Braxton Miller will change positions from QB to Wide Receiver. - Sports Illustrated
Urban Meyer now has one less problem to worry about with his quarterback decision. Does he roll with King Cardale or J.T. Barrett?
Don't worry, Daniel Bryan is just as frustrated as you are that he's not allowed to wrestle. - Uproxx
So he's cleared by every doctor except those employed by Vince McMahon? Interesting, but either way: Don't come back until you're 100 percent, Dragon.