Report: Erik Lamela going on loan to Champion's League club

While our focus is starting to turn towards Denver as Tottenham Hotspur gear up to take on the MLS All-Stars, Silly Season is still in full swing, and we're always reminded of this by some of the worst rumors ever, including this one.

According to Portuguese outlet DN Desporto, apparently FC Porto are very close to locking down Spurs' winger Erik Lamela on a one year loan with the option to buy at a paltry €7.5m.

Julen Lopetegui está prestes a ver colmatada a necessidade de um médio criativo no plantel. Ao que o DN apurou, o FC Porto deverá assegurar os serviços do argentino Erik Lamela, jogador de 23 anos que pertence ao Tottenham, de Inglaterra.

As negociações estão muito adiantadas para o médio ofensivo chegar ao Dragão por empréstimo, com uma opção de compra fixada em 7,5 milhões de euros. Dez vezes internacional A argentino, Lamela, formado no River Plate, custou ao Tottenham cerca de 30 milhões de euros em 2013/14, quando o clube inglês o contratou à Roma, de Itália.

I'll give you all a minute to catch your breath from laughing.

If you've recovered, after plugging the report into Google Translate it basically says negotiations are very advanced and they expect the deal to happen.  Here's why it won't, though:

1) The source of this is DN Desporto via Manuel Queiroz, who hasn't exactly been spot on with a lot of transfer talk.

2) No quotations from either club, Lamela, or Lamela's agent are involved.

3) I would bet all the money in the world that Daniel Levy wouldn't approve an option to buy of just over £5m.

4) This only picked up steam when it got linked by a couple of contributors on Twitter, specifically Jan Hagen, who is a contributor for The Metro.  He tweeted out the following:

Record has joined forces with DN and are reporting the same thing; Lamela is very close to join Porto on loan. Claim he's unhappy in London.

— Jan Hagen (@PortuBall) July 27, 2015

The best part of this is that not even The Metro has written anything up about it, even from Hagen himself. Their latest piece of news on Lamela is back on June 5 with talk of Juventus wanting to bid for the Argentine.

There has been no story or anyone going on record or off the record stating that Lamela is unhappy in London.  By all accounts, Spurs were very pleased with Lamela's late-season form and were excited to see what the future brought for the 23-year-old Argentine.

Hagen isn't to blame here since his job is to simply report what he sees, but it would appear that DN Desporto are all-in on this crazy rumor even though their evidence is somewhere in a fantasy land that doesn't appear to actually exist. If it were to be true, it's almost certain that Lamela wouldn't be with the club in Denver right now and would be among the group of Adebayor, Lennon, Soldado, and Chiriches waiting to be transferred out.

So, in a nutshell, this story is about at Bat Country as it gets.