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Thursday Morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links July 9, 2015

The new guy writes his first Hoddle!

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Good morning, Spursland!  It's Thursday, so we're almost through the work week.  Today, you get to read my wonderful collection of links as Salmon Chase runs off into the woods to wrestle grizzly bears and get away from the Illuminati.

Yesterday was a pretty good day to be a Spurs supporter!  We signed ourselves another Belgian to shore up our defensive back line and make Super Jan happy as can be, but Daniel Levy wasn't done there.  He showed off the shiny new stadium that will be opening up in 2018 and said that the NFL has officially partnered with the club.  We're rolling in the cash and the club is on a great upward tick!

Oh....and Bobby Soldier said he wants to leave. :(  I guess it can't all be happy news from yesterday, even though that's what's best for everyone.

And now the "news"

Andros Townsend off to Newcastle for £15m purple monkey dishwasher - Cartilage Free Captain

This was our top viewed story yesterday.  Michael Caley turned a ridiculous rumor and even showed the formula on how it was created, and it ended up being our #1 article.  That's impressive.

Manchester United receive welcome boost in chase for Tottenham star - Astral Football

Sure they did, because Hugo was just itching to go back to France, even though he's said time and time again he doesn't want to go back to Ligue 1.

Three strikers Spurs could sign this summer - The Sport Review

Uh-huh.  We could...except you kind of missed the part where Martial extended his contract with Monaco, Llorente is 30-years-old and his best days are behind him, and Lukaku?  We've already be linked to apparently half of Everton.  Why not one more?

Arsenal fans think Spurs' new stadium looks like a toilet - Bleacher Report

That's adorable, because haven't your group been complaining about the atmosphere at The Emirates for awhile now?  They don't call it the library for nothing.

Jason Pierre-Paul had his right index finger amputated after firework accident - Kissing Suzy Kolber

Folks, fireworks are dangerous as hell.  Also, JPP might be the dumbest person ever right now by ruining his NFL career.

Watch Brock Lesnar hurl a car door into the crowd on Raw and hit a fan - Uproxx

Whether or not the car was outfitted for the show is hard to say.  Either way, Brock Lesnar is legitimately scary and I would absolutely want him on my side in any kind of fight.