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Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links August 10, 2015

Salmon Chase is back! ... Sort of!

Michael Regan/Getty Images

Happy Monday Spursland!  Did you miss me? Did you long for my return with the passion of young love snuffed out by an evil patriarchal character? Did you pine for me like a sad puppy pines for his owners return? Did you miss my annoying writing crutch of asking rhetorical questions? Or is the much more likely option that this blog has grown so much in the two weeks I've been gone that almost none of you know who I am or what I am talking about. Yeah that's what I thought but hey football is back.

And now the "news"

[Editor's note: and here the Hoddle just... stopped. If anyone sees Salmon, please let him know we're worried for his welfare. We suspect fowl play. (Get it? Because he's a fish and... oh never mind)]

West Ham debutante rejected Tottenham for West Ham - ITV News

Well... I suppose that's true, though according to his Wikipedia page he joined West Ham's youth setup when he was 11 and doesn't mention Spurs at all. Kinda hard to blame Spurs for whiffing on an 11-year old kid.  On the other hand, this is an excellent opportunity to toss out a "FFS LEVY."

Veljkovic to Leeds loan on hold over playing time - Yorkshire Evening Post

Well, good. Why should we send one of our more talented youth players on loan to a club that won't play him? Especially to that damned United.

Man United make "discreet" inquiries about Kane - The Mirror

HAHAHAHA, OK. If that "discreet" inquiry doesn't include a one followed by at least nine zeros, you can f**k right off, Glazers.

Marcelo Bielsa resigns as manager of Marseille after first match of season - SB Nation

Rumors are he could be on his way to manage the Mexican national team. Bielsa's more than a little bit nuts, so this should probably surprise no one.