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Monday Morning Hoddle of Coffee: August 24, 2015

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It gets better.

Michael Regan/Getty Images

Happy Monday, Spursland! While it may have been a kick in the teeth to draw the game the way we did, let's hold out hope a bit longer. The season has barely begun and buying into the idea that it's all over because of dropped points early is just silly. Teams drop points all the time. It'll even out. Always does.

Also, I love Dele Alli. His goal and subsequent celebration brought me out of my seat for the first time this season, and a guttural yell for old Tottenham Hotspur is never a bad thing.

Also, she won't read this, but I want to say happy birthday to my older sibling! Part wolverine, part ballerina makes for a great big sister; and yes, I'm still terrified of her.

Now for the "news":

Harry Kane is not worried about goal drought because deities are not capable of worry--Express

The article actually is trying to say he is in a goal drought. I won't name the writer because it's clearly at the top of the article, but he should be ashamed of his idiocy. Then again, he wouldn't be an idiot if he were aware. That's right, Freud in the f***** Hoddle.

Roberto Soldado scores on his debut for Villarreal--101 Great Goals

Soldado, Soldado/ He had to leave the Lane/ So he could score again

Soldado...

Tony Pulis reveals 15 teams that want to sign our beloved Little Bear--Daily Star

If I shoved a crayon up my nose like a young Homer Simpson, I still probably couldn't be as brain dead as the people in the Star's rumor department. I did link the story, though. On second thought, they are probably geniuses. Now where's that crayon?

Madrid draw against Sporting Gijón--Managing Madrid

No, you didn't leave your roast in too long; that's just Cristiano stress tanning himself into oblivion after realizing that, yes, Rafa Benitez is the manager. And, no, it will not get better.

Last breaths in a Spanish bull ring--SB Nation

Great long form about a touchy subject. I'm including it because it's good, but let's be sensitive to diverging opinions on the topic.