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Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links August 25, 2015

Look who's back.

Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images

Happy Tuesday Spursland! I have returned from the wilderness.  Strap in and click play below, yes today there will be mood music.

And so here we are a month later after my departure to Parts Unkown and where are we as a team.  Season started, and no wins.  Kane has no goals and we have signed no midfielder.  I could have essentially fallen into a coma for that period of time and then woken up  today and nothing would have changed (other than total stranger Sandra Bullock threw a few twists of fate accidentally convincing amnesia stricken me that we were engaged) and Tom Carroll and Deli in the first team is a thing..  Which works out fine because that's basically where I have been in a day job coma.  But seriously folks, What the hell is happening here? Could the drums calling for Poche's job to be in jeopardy by starting in the media? Unrelated I'll just be over here banging on this giant drum.

And now the "news"

Little Bear Sat Out Against Chelsea Because he is Unsettled By Spurs Bid-ESPNFC

Look I don't know much about this guy because I don't watch the vast majority of games that aren't Spurs and I never played with him in FIFA.  Also I don't do research.  If you are a new reader and think that's kind of a d**k thing for the bloggity blog man to say, well You haven't even realized the full breadth of the disappointment and low standards I bring to the table.  That said we need a Kane back up and Berahino seems pretty cool, even though my first choice for Kane back up will always be American Bada** Undertaker.

"Leicester City And Tottenham Eventually Entertain" May Be The Best Headline Ever-The Guardian

Especially since I spent the first half going "seriously how the hell is THIS happening on my TV right now"?

Wycombe Ball Boy Is The Best Ball Boy Ever-SB Nation Soccer

That kid wasn't waiting to see if that guy (no I didn't look up the names that would be research #callback) was gonna be cool with the big hug, he just felt the moment and through his body into it,.

Neymar Wins 20K In Online Poker, Continues Having A Better Life Than You-SB Nation Soccer

But yeah man, I guess going over to your friend's house and pirating Summer Slam and drinking Bud Select was a pretty cool weekend too.

Chelsea Win For The First Time Since May Thanks To Knew Overpriced Signing-We Ain't Got No History

Did they get him for an OK price? I don't know #noresearch #livethegimmick

I'm back, don't tell your mom.