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Thursday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links August 27, 2014

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Jan Kruger/Getty Images

Happy Thursday, Spursland! Has "it" happened yet? Is "THE" here? Or the real question --  who is really Kevin: Son, Little Bear, or both?  Gee does it show how bitter I am that the player ranking based on CFC Memes didn't include any mention of me (or my giant unwarranted ego)? Anywho, What ALIEN craft has landed and left a monolith jumping us forward in our development (like in that movie, don't worry the nerds know which one) to the point where we, Tottenham, are unsettling players? Some of them are even good! This feels weird, like the transfer window was about to end and then Levy was like "Oh by the way before you guys clock out, I got this Van Der Vaart guy". Ya know?

It's cool I don't really know either.

And now the "news"

Mason Thinks Spurs Have What It Takes To Keep Lead On Everton-ESPN FC

Yes we do posses the ability to sit your ass on the bench.

Spurs In The Running For Real Madrid's Defensive Midfielder Illarramendi-Guardian

Ryan Mason, one way ticket to "not in the 18".

Tiny Adorable Girl Soccer Fan Is Let Down By Defense, Reacts Like All Of Us On The Inside When We Give Up Leads-SB Nation Soccer

Be still: my inner being has become a full fledged independent entity on this plane of being.

Manchester United Prepping Last Minute Bid For Bale-The Busby Babe

Nope, NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE. I will be using my veto power on this which Menno assures me I have after my last contract negotiation. [Ed: It's true.] So eat it Van Gaal! Eat that warm day old, been left out tuna salad sandwich on banana bread that I just served up to you, Jack.  And wash it down with a nice iced glass of hangover arts.

Injured Player Throws Self Off Stretcher To Waste Time-SB Nation Prat Fall

That is solid physical acting right there, very impressive.  Almost Mathew Perry on every late night talk show appearance ever-esque.