Thursday morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for September 10, 2015

Happy Thursday, Spursland. I haven't gotten into the groove of this Hoddle thing yet because holiday weekends combined with international breaks are the worst. But I'm here now (after Dustin poked me) and I'd like to talk to you about something that's plaguing our society: getting mad at people who like Apple events.

OK, so Apple events are profoundly stupid. Tim Cook tells you some marketing schmuck's new term for "stylus" or "GIF," calls them innovations and everyone claps like a monkey. Samsung is out here making phones that are just as good, but they don't destroy your Twitter feed for a day. I get why people hate this stuff.

However, I'd like to submit two thoughts for your consideration.

1. Stuff that makes people happy is good. It doesn't matter how inane it is. We all need a distraction from the fact that LOL NOTHING MATTERS and that at least half of us die alone.

2. Tweetdeck has a mute function! It kicks ass. Click the gear in the bottom left corner, go to settings, and...

You can mute users OR words! It's bomb. I have most of you muted!

And with that, here's the "news."

Son chose Spurs over Liverpool and City | Evening Standard

There's something to be said for guaranteed playing time. Son didn't want to deal with roster drama, he wanted to be the man. And he'll have every opportunity to do that with Spurs.

Son reveals he can't have a red car | Mirror

It isn't his mates or fans who told him this, but people who work at the club. Amazing. Our staff is social savvy, y'all.

Harry Kane offers both an attacking threat and tactical problem for England | Bleacher Report

Before you get worried about the source, it's not a slideshow. It's a Jonathan Wilson article. B/R is equal parts good stuff and clickbait trash in the post-Turner purchase world. I agree with Wilson that England don't have the midfielders to play Rooney behind Kane in a 4-2-3-1.

AVB to leave Zenit at the end of the season | ESPN FC

He's super annoyed at the new foreign player rules that forced the club to sell Solomon Rondon.

I love the Victorian era. So I decided to live in it. | Vox

This is a super common thing in Port Townsend, Washington, apparently. I bet you eleventy billion dollars these people have their stuff professionally cleaned by people using modern technology.

The national team with more U.S. born players than the USMNT | Vice

On Guam, whose star player is LA Galaxy starter A.J. Delagarza.