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Wednesday Community Hoddle

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Once again, my client, The Hoddle, is not late; it's trying to make an entrance.

Clive Brunskill/Getty Images

Hello Spursland, good to see you. Normally, this is where I would have something consoling or celebratory to say about Tottenham Hotspur, but the pulsating pimple that is the first international break interrupted that flow. So instead I will celebrate that rancid heap of football's exit from our lives.

I get up on my high horse on the old Twitter machine from time to time but most of you don't follow me (good choice btw) so you don't get my absolute contempt for international footie. All of this bull**** is to accommodate, what, six interesting or meaningful tournaments a decade? A mother******* decade. It is obscene.

Oh, who am I kidding? I can't wait for the winter World Cup in Qatar.

Also, can we get a pic of Kevin holding a newspaper? I'm worried about him the way Spurs twitter used to be worried about Erik Lamela.

And now the "news"

Togo gaffer ditches Adebayor | Football365

You think Ade is sitting somewhere singing "All by myself..."

Ticket announcement for Qarabag | The Fighting Cock

Don't often link them, but if you are UK based, or just in London for this match, and want to sing it up, like, a lot, check this out. Tried to see how many commas I could fit in there.

Gary Lineker is the best on Twitter | Off the Post

I secretly want him to be my uncle, too. Nobody tell Srups, lest he get jealous.