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Ridiculous rumor suggests Manchester United eyeing Tottenham's Mauricio Pochettino

Nobody panic.

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Is there anything worse than the rumors that your best player is being linked to Manchester United? Well, how about when your manager is linked to Manchester United! That's where we are now. According to a report in the Daily Mirror, the higher-ups in Manchester are considering making a play for Poche if-slash-when they sack Louis Van Gaal.

UGH, right? Now here's why it's probably not going to happen.

Manchester United is almost certainly going to make a managerial change this summer, but it's unlikely to be before that, since if they were going to change doing it earlier would help minimize the effects of making the switch, give the new guy more time (and a transfer window) to make the team his own, and maximize the opportunities for United to solidify its grip on a Champions League berth. The fact that they haven't made that move yet implies that Van Gaal has at least until the summer to turn things around.

That also gives Tottenham time to consolidate its' grip on fourth place... or even higher. The better Spurs play and the higher the finish, the more difficult I suspect it will be to pry Poche away from Spurs. Poche has already made all the right noises about "long term projects," "excellent facilities," and "new stadium." Spurs are a club that's on a huge upward trajectory. Daniel Levy and the fans are happy and it's unclear what, besides presumably lots of money, Poche would get by moving to a club like United that requires an overhaul of an aging squad and an immense pressure to win immediately.

Finally, as good as he is, Poche isn't what you'd call a "sexy" hire. Jose Mourinho is still out there and reportedly really really wants the United job. Laurent Blanc, too. Man U could probably get just about any one of a number of extremely high profile managers in world football. Targeting Pochettino at this stage just seems... odd.

Also, this is a report in the Mirror completely devoid of quotes, sources, or facts. That's maybe the most important part.

Yes, it's United, and a lot of managers might have their heads turned by the opportunity to manage one of the biggest clubs in the world. There's also presumably a crap-ton of money involved. But I wouldn't worry. Poche presently has Spurs on a better footing, playing much better football, than United right now, and that's probably enough to keep him here for a while yet.