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Friday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee:Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For Friday October 28, 2016

You missed me. Admit it.

Jan Kruger/Getty Images

Happy Friday Spursland!  How does this fine morning find you? Excited? Sad? Down in the dumps because your team's new stadium, the goal of the last 9 or whatever years won't have a cool old school name but instead a depressing corporate one? One like Uber, a company that depending on which politician you ask could be completely illegal by the time the stadium is complete? Well buck up, buttercup. Below I have compiled a list of corporate sponsors that would be way worse to have than a company that has a ridiculous (read German) name.

  1. Hienz Microwavable Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding Stadium. I am not sure this wouldn't be bad, I am just going off of the looks people give me when they see me eating this out of the tin while I ride around on City buses.
  2. Cialis Memorial Sporting Ground, because you know old dongs and woodland bathtub imagery doesn't make for a friendly sporting atmosphere for kids. Someone explain why its a commercial for a sex aid but the couple is in different tubs. Have I been doing it wrong this entire time?
  3. Comcast FieldComcast sucks.  Like they are bad, so bad that My friend Tim wrote thw song about them.  Click this helpful link to learn what Tim thinks of them. [Editor's note: hilarious, but probably NSFW if you don't have headphones]
  4. Emirates. I know they already sponsor one stadium but would you expect good things for a airline that is owned by a nation that owns and mistreats (like more than the regular amount of slave mistreating, I low that seems like a pretty binary issue but go with me on this) like a crap ton of slaves. I mean those guys always are in need of good publicity and seriously what better way to cover up massive human rights abuses than with a really big stadium sized sign.
  5. Trump, because some things are just poor business decisions

And now the "news"

Dier: SHOCKED Kane Not Nominated For That Big Award-Sky Sports

I mean, yea, I get it dude.  But Kane doesn't have the level of hair associated with the most prestigious award.  You know who does?  ME! you may have thought I was going to say Lloris, and that's true to but my hair is on that level too, and I don't mind telling you it has been described as devastatingly foppish.

Vardy, Leicester Still Searching For Last Season's Form-ESPN FC

Well that's what happens when you sell all your best, most important players (Yea I go in studs up Vardy WATCH YOUR BACK) so of course it's not working.

Spain Could Be Readying To Recall David Villa-SB Nation Soccer

OK I admit I have not been the most plugged in of people who happen to have publishing privileges on a pretty big website but have things gotten this bad for Spain?  Old Man playing in third rate league who had a "pretty good season" warrants a look? Why don't they just try giving a random Iberian pig a runout?

So, Should United Fans Be Panicking?-The Busby Babe

Of course they should be look what team they picked to support.

Woof, overly wordy and embarrassing.  It never fails at this point in a Hoddle I hit the wall so very very hard. I write articles like March weather, in like a lion and out like a dottering old man who just had a double hip replacement. See you guys again soon.

You guys can come see me LIVE at the Good Good Comedy Theater in Philadelphia November 1st the 10PM show, click the link for tickets and follow me on twitter and IG @pigracechampion