Dispatches from Bat Country: Everton want to swap Barkley for Sissoko

Tottenham Hotspur are currently preparing for a post-Boxing Day matchup with Southampton on December 28, and right around the corner from there is the beginning of January Silly Season, where up is down, Coke changes to Pepsi, cats and dogs live together, and Tottenham buy literally all the players. Today’s transfer rumor is out of that fantasy land.

The Daily Mirror are reporting that Ronald Koeman just can’t quite get over the fact that Moussa Sissoko muted his phone back in the summer window and still wants the French International on Merseyside. He is apparently so enamored with landing the former Newcastle United player that he’s willing to do a straight up swap for Ross Barkley.

Ronald Koeman wants a sensational swap deal involving Ross Barkley and Moussa Sissoko.

The Everton boss has run out of patience with his enigmatic star and is ready to call time on his career at Goodison Park.

And the Dutchman hopes to engineer a switch with Spurs flop Sissoko, who has failed to settle at White Hart Lane.

Koeman made a late bid in the summer for the French international but was beaten to the punch by Tottenham who swooped to land the midfielder in a club record £30million deal from Newcastle United.

Spurs have been linked to Barkley for the better part of the season. The 23-year-old midfielder has made 17 appearances this season for the Toffees across all competitions, scoring three goals. He’s made 101 appearances overall. Whether or not he’s worn out his welcome at Goodison Park depends on who you ask, considering that for someone who isn’t in good favor, he’s still seeing more than ample playing time.

As for Sissoko, I don’t think the article is wrong in that he hasn’t gotten off to the right start. He’s been anywhere from bad to above average, though his last couple of appearances have gone well. However, when you spend £30 million on a player, that’s not what a club is expecting to get.

Hypothetically speaking, if this rumor had any ounce of truth, I’d probably pull the trigger. Barkley may not be an immediate impact guy or that sexy pick, but as someone who has never really been a fan of Sissoko, I think Barkley would fit in at Spurs. He’s over four years younger, a solid player in the midfield, and could contribute quite well. Everton get the guy they wanted back in the summer and jettison a player who apparently is out of sorts.

That being said, this is standard Bat Country b*llsh*t. There are no quotes from either player, either manager, and is the standard hearsay that one expects to get from the Daily Mirror, where clicks are the most important thing and whether or not a rumor is true means squat. Pochettino has already come out and said to expect a quiet January, which probably means that Spurs may look for a diamond in the rough teenager (Ryan Sessegnon, please and thank you in advance) to sign and loan back to a club like Dele Alli a couple of years ago.

There’s nothing here that is of substance, but I’ll open this up to the commentariat: Would you make this move?