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Manchester United want Danny Rose in the dumbest rumor you'll see all day

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YES WE'RE STRUGGLING TO FIND THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT SHUT UP

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Do you want some wild speculation mixed in with your news reports of departing Tottenham Hotspur players? How about this one: The Mirror is reporting that Danny Rose could be a deadline day transfer target for Manchester United.

United are reportedly pretty desperate for cover at left back right now with Luke Shaw, Ashley Young, and Marcos Rojo all injured, and the rumors are that they're considering making a fast panic buy for Rose as emergency cover. However, the Mirror states that Spurs have basically told United to back off and that Rose isn't for sale.

Did you get that? Tottenham had to issue a hands-off warning. For Danny Rose. I'll give you a moment to stop laughing.

It's not that we don't think Danny Rose is a decent player. It's also not that we don't think that Manchester United are prone to making ridiculous and overpriced transfers for players they don't really need. It's not even that we don't think think that Spurs would probably command upwards of £20m for Rose due to his England status and the fact that he's a home-grown player.

Well, okay, it actually is about all those things. Which is why it's an insane rumor and you shouldn't believe it at all.  Look, Rojo, Shaw and Young are all injured, but Daley Blind still (reportedly) exists, and it's not clear that Rose would be first choice even with all those injuries. If United want to make a stupid money bid for Rose, then if I'm Daniel Levy I strongly consider it, but it'd be a bad move for Danny. Sure, he'll probably make fat bank, but as soon as Shaw, Young and Rojo get healthy again, he's right back on the bench, not playing. At least at Spurs he gets regular match time, even if he's ostensibly the second choice left back behind Ben Davies.

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