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A Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links February 16, 2016

Terrible Taste Tuesday

Clive Rose/Getty Images

Happy Tuesday, Spursland!

As I've made ever so clear, it's really hard to do terrible taste articles when things are going so very well, but then I am overwhelmed with a sense of duty and I say to myself "Self, you've created the bit, and you are going to stick by it come hell or high water!" So this is me showing bit loyalty, the one useful thing Skipjack has taught me, actually.

I was thinking on Sunday how we've turned the tables on City this year. We're got calls to benefit us and hung crooked goal totals on them, which predictably got me thinking about the song "Turning Tables" by Adele. It's cliched beyond belief to play it, and a terribly uninspired choice for this week's theme, but that's not really terrible enough, now is it?

No, today's purveyor of terribleness is none other than me. A couple years back I sang a song acapella to the tune of "Turning Tables" about Erik Lamela, and the reality of him having gone missing. It's on a podcast that I did that seems like a lifetime ago despite it only being a couple years. And to make myself a really awful guy I'm going to combine an internet search instead of a link. If you can find "Missing Erik" on this now defunct podcast go to the 40 minute mark and you will hear me, off tune and wavering my way through a made up song, in all my terrible glory.

Until then, enjoy this as we continue to turn the tables on folks this year.

And now for the "news":

Goal shy Swansea've got to be kidding| South Wales Evening Post

I wrote this entire piece only to come across this headline. Clearly, I am a wizard! A wizard whose only skill is aligning short form football articles with Welsh football headlines unknowingly, so yes, a terrible wizard, but a wizard all the same.

Tottenham and Chelsea set to battle it out over Lukaku this summer| Express

It me. The piss taker.

We're not arrogant, we're wavy-Toby| Squawka

Ok, so he didn't say the second part. He should've.

Some bantamweight signs with UFC again| MMA Fighting

Who cares about this guy, though? I just wanted to put some combat fighting mention here to bring up the Amir Khan-Canelo fight after I forgot last week. Canelo is like twice his size! What is going on?