Happy Monday, Spursland!
Tottenham Hotspur are in second place on goal difference. Crucially, don't check into detox, you're not hallucinating after a drug binge (I hope!). That's actually what the table looks like. We've also started to rotate our attacking players and are living to tell about it. We're living in a brave new world within which I am still not sure how to function. Stay tuned to this space as I become better equipped.
Real world fear, though: will I be less jaded and funny if Spurs are good and I come to expect consistency from them? Yes, I've been trying to make you all laugh for the last four months, shut up.
And now for the "news":
Tell that to a certain Southampton supporter who shall not be named.
I'm not sure if the Watford manger was describing the match from Saturday or Rocky's first fight with Clubber Lang in this interview.
Ben Davies making secondary runs into the penalty area should come with an NC-17 rating. Strong sexual content.
No, not with a Crying Jordan meme. Not that MJ.