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Tottenham Hotspur Twitter Argument Bracket: the Chirpy Region, rounds 1-2

Let's take it to the Sweet Sixteen!

By Dustin George-Miller@dustingm Mar 18, 2016, 2:36am GMT

March Madness is underway in the USA as the 64 best college basketball teams in the country vie to win a humungous knock-out tournament. It's tons of fun, but we're Tottenham Hotspur supporters and we've got our own bracket to deal with: the Tottenham Twitter Arguments Bracket!

This is a single-elimination knock-out tournament that pits the best things to argue about regarding Tottenham Hotspur on the Twitter machine. We'll start in the Chirpy Region and head to the Sweet Sixteen. As stated before, there are no polls and there's no voting. These are staff picks, but you're free to argue lots in the comments and tell us how wrong we are.

First Round

#1 #WeNeedAStriker vs. #16 Gomes is our best keeper

Come on. There's a reason why no #16 seed has ever beaten a #1 seed in the NCAA tournament: because #1 seeds are really good and #16 seeds usually aren't. "We need a striker" has been the mantra of Spurs fans in the transfer window almost as long as I've been a fan, and certainly since we sold Berbatov and Keane. As for Gomes... well, I think only Bryan A. really believes that one.

Winner: #1 #WeNeedAStriker

#2 Erik Lamela can't play the English game vs. #15 We should've kept Sigurdsson

A Twitter argument's longevity comes down in no small part to the hotness of its takes. Despite all evidence to the contrary, Lamela's £30m fee keeps this one toasty warm, and Siggy's somewhat meh performances for Swansea lately don't hold up long term.

Winner: #2 Erik Lamela can't play the English game

#3 Leandro Damiao is The One vs. #14 Nacer Chadli is good/bad

Leandro Damiao was the one true savior of Tottenham football for so long, that it almost wasn't an argument: it was doctrine. Spurs never signed him and now it looks like we dodged a major bullet. The first upset of the tournament happens here, as the Nacer Chadli debate is one of the most divisive ones we've seen over the past couple of years. The Chadli Hate lives!

Winner: #14 Nacer Chadli is good/bad

#4 8th is better than 7th because Europa is bad vs. #13 Modric didn't score

Look, the Europa League is bad, but to accept the premise of the argument assumes that Spurs will finish 7th or 8th in the league, and that hasn't happened since 2009. Meanwhile, cast your mind back to the Modric years and there WERE arguments on Twitter about how Modric was overrated because he didn't put the ball in the net. It was a BAD argument, but it was better than the Europa one.

Winner: #13 Modric didn't score

#5 "Spursy" vs. #12 At least Jamie O'Hara played for the shirt

12-5 matches are primed for upsets mostly because the 12 seeds are usually underestimated small conference teams that play on a small stage whereas the 5s are okay teams from big leagues. No upset in this one: we can argue all day about Spurs being snake-bitten. I don't give a s**t about Jamie O'Hara.

Winner: "Spursy"

#6 Bring back the old Chirpy vs. #11 Was AVB actually good?

The AVB-is-good argument was vociferous in its heyday but it runs into a buzz-saw against Chirpy. Is the "bring back old Chirpy" really a more important argument than AVB-is-good? Probably not, but after reading Cartilage Free Captain for as long as you have are you REALLY going to bet against that feathered monstrosity? Are you? Do you like living?

Winner: #6 Bring back the old Chirpy

#7 Start Danny Rose at LB vs. #10 Start Ben Davies at LB

Sometimes two things are so evenly matched that the only thing you can do is flip a coin. So I did. Ben Davies won.

Winner: #10 Ben Davies at LB

#8 Start Kyle Walker at RB vs. #9 Start Kieran Trippier at RB

An intriguing match-up. Kyle Walker starts out hot and takes a decent lead into halftime, but Trippier storms back after a fearsome halftime talk from his coach and takes the lead with 12 minutes to go. Unfortunately, he peaks too soon, the wheels fall off, and Kyle Walker scores the last 25 points of the match to run Trippier out of the gym. This is also more or less what happened in the Tottenham right back positional battle.

Winner: #8 Start Kyle Walker at RB

Second Round

#1 #WeNeedAStriker vs. #8 Start Kyle Walker at RB

See, here's the thing: by virtue of the last round, Start Kyle Walker has already reached the zenith of its argument progression. Once you beat your competitor for the position, there's really not much farther than you can go. #WeNeedAStriker wins almost by default.

Winner: #1 #WeNeedAStriker

#5 "Spursy" vs. #13 Modric didn't score

Modric was one player. One singular, amazing player whose greatness some of us didn't recognize until he left us in a gust of wind and a cadence of flamenco music. But Spurs finding a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? That's eternal.

Winner: #5 "Spursy"

#6 Bring back the old Chirpy vs. #14 Nacer Chadli is good/bad

Nacer Chadli is good/bad was criminally underseeded by the selection committee. After winning its conference and tearing apart the Spurs message boards, it snuck into the tournament but will continue to surprise people with the fire of its everlasting flame. Another big upset. Sorry Chirpy. (Please don't hurt my family.)