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Tottenham Hotspur Twitter Arguments Bracket: the #LevyOut Region, Rounds 1-2

Why discuss when you can argue, right? Also, you're an idiot.

Everton v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League Photo by Dave Thompson/Getty Images

It's finally here! The final regional in our Tottenham Hotspur Twitter Arguments bracket! With this we've taken 64 of the hottest topics to argue about on social media and reduced them to the best worst last 16. The "Sweat 16" if you will. (Because these arguments might also take place in a hot pub, okay? I dunno, just go with it.)

Just like in the past regions – Chirpy, You'll Have to Ask the Chairman, and Archway – there is no voting, but you are more than welcome to discuss them in the comments and call me an idiot. I write the player ratings articles, I'm used to it.

Here are the first two rounds of the #LevyOut Region.

First Round

#1 Daniel Levy is only in it for profit vs. #16 These kits are s**t

Daniel Levy is a 1 seed for a reason: this is one of the most powerful (and at times nonsensical) Tottenham arguments you can make. Crap kits look like they SHOULD be underseeded, but when you get right down to it, we all know you're gonna buy that shirt anyway, right?

Winner: #1 Daniel Levy is only in it for profit

#8 If I were Hugo Lloris I'd leave vs. #9 Gareth Bale will come back to us someday

If you're one of the best keepers in the world, France's #1, why would you want to stay at a club that continually fails to make the Champions League and hires managers like Tim Sherwood? (I dunno, maybe we should ask him.) Meanwhile, Gareth Bale is never coming back, and even if he did he'd cost way too much and would be crocked after years of being The Man™ at Real Madrid. Hard pass.

Winner: #8 If I were Hugo Lloris I'd leave

#5 We could've kept Michael Carrick vs. #12 Preseason tours of America are bad

Another strong showing from a 12-seed argument. At the heart of the preseason tour argument is the central belief that English football has transgressed from its local roots and become global business, and this is simply pandering to the ignorant overseas market to earn a quick buck ENIC OUT. I like this argument more than Carrick, who was sold for (then) big money to a dominant Manchester United at a time when it was difficult not to lose our best players to better teams.

Winner: #12 Preseason tours of America are bad

#4 Ticket prices are too high vs. #14 The NFL should f**k right off

The thing about this match-up is that it's basically arguing both sides of the same coin. Tickets ARE expensive, but one of the solutions to raise revenue and (theoretically) keep prices down is also reviled because it's, I guess, evil and American. Ask most pub-going Spurs fans which one they're angrier about, and I think I know which answer I'll get most of the time.

Winner: #4 Ticket prices are too high

#6 There used to be a football club here vs. #11 End the Madrid partnership

So much anger! Ending the Madrid partnership is kind of a moot point because we all pretty much knew it was bulls**t as soon as the Modric sale took place. On the other hand, I don't even know what "there used to be a football club here" even means. Probably doesn't matter.

Winner: #6 There used to be a football club here

#3 Milton Keynes or Wembley? vs. #14 #AgainstModernFootball

If I'm honest, the selection committee screwed up the seeding here. While Spurs temporary home certainly is sucking a lot of the air out of the room at present, it will blow over eventually, as it's only for a year. Near as I can tell, #AgainstModernFootball is a lifestyle. This just might be the George Mason of Twitter arguments.

Winner: #14 #AgainstModernFootball

#7 We shouldn't have fired Martin Jol vs. #10 The new stadium is s**t if it doesn't have a Kop end

... Yeah, but it DOES have a Kop end. Your argument is invalid.

Winner: #7 We shouldn't have fired Martin Jol

#2 Get our business done by deadline day vs. #15 StubHub is Satan/fine

Another victim of a poor selection committee decision. Who decided StubHub was a #15 seed?! I demand Charles Barkley's head!

Winner: #15 StubHub is Satan/fine

Second Round

#1 Daniel Levy is only in it for the profit vs. #8 If I were Hugo I'd leave

The image of Daniel Levy swimming, Scrooge McDuck style, in a pit of £100 notes is too much for poor Hugo Lloris to overcome. Besides, he's happy now.

Winner: #1 Daniel Levy is only in it for the profit

#12 Preseason tours of America are bad vs. #4 Ticket prices are too high

You could cut Spurs tickets back to £10 and people would complain about the high cost of purchasing a pie at White Hart Lane. And then argue about why we never sign top players. America is an annoyance. Money is all.

#4 Ticket prices are too high

#6 There used to be a football club here vs. #14 #AgainstModernFootball

Pairing these two arguments together is like when the Mega Powers exploded after Randy Savage accused Hulk Hogan of desiring Miss Elizabeth and then hit him with the WWF Championship belt. It's just so hard to choose, I love them both. Ultimately one must ask themselves: who would Elizabeth side with? I say the lower-seeded.

Winner: #14 #AgainstModernFootball

#7 We shouldn't have fired Martin Jol vs. #15 StubHub is Satan/fine

Look, we can argue about Martin Jol all day, but at the end of it he was judged and found lacking. Sure, that led us to Juande Ramos, but don't forget he won a trophy with us and besides without him we never wouldn't signed Harry Redknapp. So it was good. Meanwhile, StubHub is obviously a soulless corporate mechanism designed expressly to vacuum money away from people and isn't at all the same thing as buying your ticket from a scalper outside the Lane who wants an exorbitant mark-up, right?

Winner: #15 StubHub is Satan/fine