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A Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links April 12, 2016

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More rumors, please.

Julian Finney/Getty Images

Good morning!

With this being Tuesday and half of the articles about Spurs being recycled, day old bits on Louis van Gaal's foolish tactics, I am starting to realize just how spoiled we've been to have European football just about every year for the last decade. Sure, many complain about the Europa League like it's an intestinal virus, but even if it's in the Arctic Circle playing Tromso, at least it's football. It sure beats talking about who was in the training gallery pictures on the official site all day.

On the topic of nothing going on. Where are the rags when I need them? I don't know if this is some karmic payback for all the stick I give them (who am I, really?) but the stupid rumor mill has seemed to stop turning the last few days. What I wouldn't give for a "Zidane demands Kane this summer" or a "Berahino to Spurs is not a done deal as Jeremy Peace looks to have broken free of Daniel Levy's Imperius Curse".

A rumor, a rumor, my kingdom for a rumor.

And now for the "news":

We're going down, yelling Dembele| Express

According to reports? Look everyone, "according to reports"!! We've got an unsubstantiated rumor. All my complaining was worth it.

Muy Thai legend in the making wants to extend Spurs stay| Squawka

ABK; Always Be Kicking. The ball. An opponent. Air. Whatever. Just don't ever stop kicking, Erik.

All proceeds from this ABK bit go to the Michael Caley honorary internet goodness fund. No, this is not a real charity.

Jamie Redknapp: This Tottenham starlet is one of the best in the country| The Sport Review

Is there a worse word in the dictionary than "starlet"? I would have to suppress feeling to punch someone if they actually used it in front of me.

Meet Mahmoud Dahoud| Goal.com

Shock, he's linked to three pressing teams because if Liverpool want him, that must mean that all teams that press want him, right?

At the moment, however, I'm more interested in how he managed to accurately recreate my hair style from 1998. I had glorious hair, I did. Sad to report that I've lost a bit of ground in the battle for my forehead. The war isn't over, but there have been casualties.

When things go wrong at Palermo, they really go wrong| NBC Sports

We're not a people ruled by reason. This is poetic in many ways. In other, more accurate ways, it's a little bit scary to have chairs thrown at you as a player.