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Thursday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links April 28, 2016

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Alex Morton/Getty Images

Happy Thursday Spursland! Welcome my friends to the show that ends after like 600 words, 200 if someone else is writing it.  Today we have for you the return of a long since forgotten tradition. NO! Not Prima Nocta, that would be ridiculous, although Dustin did spend a suspicious amount of time alone with my girlfriend the night we moved in together now that I think about it... [Editor's note: false] NO I am talking about the theme Hoddle, Started most famously with the now legendary and very not allowed Alison Brie Tribute Day.  It's a special day that looks like it should be amazing but ends up a kind of well executed but mostly kind of crappy result you still kind of like for some reason.  You know like the Movie JFK. So relax and realize that this is going to be about as confusing as an adult who values a Constitutional amendment banning Astroturf, it's Kevin g*****n Costner Day my lovelies.

And now the "News"

Tottenham Must Learn Says Fletcher-Sky Sports

Much like you guys should all learn to love the Postman, which is way better than you remember should you be old enough to remember how bad it got hammered by pre-internet popular culture, a golden example of high concept 90s epic combined with that adorable 90's garbage that has only gotten worse with age,  For examples see all movies currently made.  But LOL 2013 in this movie right?

Soldado: What Went Wrong At Tottenham Was My Head-Guardian

Much like what went wrong with audiences who panned Waterworld for being too long. It was the 90s, nobody was prepared for a movie longer than 2 hours.  You know, like all movies made these days? COSTNER WAS A VISIONARY AHEAD OF HIS TIME!

Madrid In Search Of #11- Managing Madrid

Much like Dane Cook was in search of the knowledge of how to get away with MURDERING people in Mr Brooks, am I right gang (I am not at all really,)

Ah the shoehorning has begun, a time honored theme Hoddle tradition. I can't stress this enough, the theme Hoddle has never worked so well as when I was allowed to get drunk and write about how Spurs related to 9 different Alison Brie .gifs.

How have I never gotten us sued? [Editor's note: I asked myself that same question often.]

The Last Wrestler-SB Nation Longform

I love this for many reasons, not the least of which is that I am an unabashed fanboy of the Jordan family, particularly Isaac Jordan and his cousin Bo Jordan. Also as a proud former collegiate wrestler and political activist I like a congressional wrestler that didn't rape a bunch of children. I hope someone takes his old ass and teaches him the Chicago way when he gets sent up.

Which university Is The NFL's Real Bust U- SB Nation

I don't know, why don't we just ASK KEVIN COSTNER IN DRAFT DAY!!!!!!!

Oh yes it always peters out in the end