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Friday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links April 29, 2016

In which Salmon Chase swims back into the shallows.

Clive Rose/Getty Images

Happy Friday Spursland! It has been a pleasure to make my return these last few days.  Thank you for having me.

Owls are bulls**t.

And now the "news"

Alli Now A Target?- Sky Sports

Yes now that he has been banned teams will start to target the guy doing all the amazing things from now on.  Like they weren't doing that, um, all year long?  Like even before he was like all over the news with England fans droolin over him I am fairly certain scouting departments were writing memos saying things like "oh, um by the way keep an eye on this kid".  Now a target, that's like saying now that the Freedom Tower is up New York is a target.  IT WAS ALWAYS A TARGET.

Tottenham Targeting Spanish League Starlet To Bolster Striker Corps-Mirror

Because that's always worked so well for us in the past...

Pulisic Ready To Be USMNT Starter-SB Nation Soccer

Because he is really good, also everyone else is kinda trash right now. NOT SAYING I'M BETTER THAN YOU.

Well yea I would say that about some things.  Blogging, farting, wearing Christmas pajamas in summertime. And so on.

This Is An OK Goal-SB Nation Soccer

Embarrassing defenders like he is the Internet and the defenders are Becky with the good hair.  Yes I am young and know young people things!!!

Top Draft Prospect's Twitter Posts Bong Video As Draft Starts-SB Nation

If someone did that to screw him over, that's cold. Cold like a Russian winter.  Harsh like a sip of moonshine.  Not cool like all of Skipjack's jokes.

Hugs and Kisses!