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A Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links May 18, 2016

Take my poetry, please

Michael Regan/Getty Images

Good morning! Today I write haiku about players who played striker for us this year instead of doing a review of their play.

Harry Kane stalks prey/not over a season short/but a career long

Son will move forward/Wheeler Dealer star he is/true value looming

Nacer Chadli humps/seriously look at him/who wouldn't let him

And now for the "news"

Tottenham to scout M'Baye Niang| Daily Mail

His name was M'Baye, he was a striker, he played for a rotting giant named Milan, so Spurs decided to send a scout to the final of the Coppa, Coppa Italia.

We're selling Mason to buy Wilson which doesn't make any sense| Express

The transfer rumor department at the Express may not have figured out that selling a six million pound player doesn't really fund the purchase of a 15 million pound player, but that's why I'm here, to grind out that high level analysis. #yourwelcome

The alternative Premier League TOY| SB Nation Soccer

Did anyone else assume they would all just be wearing flannels?

Ian Thorpe cleans pools| NBC Sports

In a jokey advert! Hahahah as if anyone could ever fall from Olympic glory. Imagine that...