A Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links May 19, 2016

Good morning!

In keeping with my refusal to write anything resembling an article on football this week, I turn to my favorite backup defender on Tottenham Hotspur, Kevin Wimmer. It felt like as quickly as we had grown to love him, he was taken away from us. Like that show Firefly. Seriously, that show was great, right? We all just wanted to know how it ended, and I think a part of us would've liked to see how the team would've finished in an alternate universe had he kept playing.

Side note: I've never seen Firefly. Riling up the people still mourning its cancellation all these 20 years later seemed like some snarky fun, and I had a go.

But I do like Kevin Wimmer. Yay, Kevin Wimmer!

And now for the "news":

Basel deny Spurs have bid for 'the new Drogba'| Express

I don't care how he plays. Anyone with a respectable hair style cannot be compared to Didier Drogba. So much of the late 00s and early 10s were spent thinking about why, with all that money, he settled on that hair.

Spurs star admits he could leave for rivals| Express

This is the latest in a series of transfer rumors by the Express where they explore the meaning of words through a post-modern lens. Today, they try to deconstruct the words "star" and "rival" to show their meaninglessness.

Aston Villa have been sold| 7500 to Holte

I wonder if, in some strange twist, they tie for second place in the Championship, but get promoted on goal difference.

Old woman shows off her pace| NBC Sports

Stuff like this makes me happy. Almost as happy as the picture of the crying Liverpool guy makes me. Almost...