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A Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links May 27, 2016


Ian MacNicol/Getty Images

Good morning!

What are the stages of boredom? I've gone, quite clearly, over the stages of grief over the last couple of weeks due to the way our season ended, but I don't think I was ready for just how bored I am with all of this pre-Euro, pre-Copa mess. I should know better; it's like this every year, and especially with big international tournaments coming up as there isn't always a ton of player movement during the playing of those matches.

My brain knowing, however, that this is how it works still doesn't mean that my adrenaline levels have evened out from the "title race, oh no we're out of it, and now the season's over, no more football for a while" quickness. It'll get better once the tournaments kick off, or we actually buy or sell someone. Just have to make it until then.

As for the stages of boredom, I propose the following:

1. Disinterest

2.Feigned Interest

3. Sleepyness

4. Loathing

5. Counting minutes as they pass

And now for the "news":

Soufiane Boufal still a Lille player| Sport Witness

Les Dogues are all "Hey Spurs, we saw how much you earned this year. We're getting the lobster at market price, not the salt cod with potatoes."

Zlatan to Spurs|

This has to be made up, but part of me wants Zlatan to not care about money anymore and give in to his desire to partner with Harry Kane as his personal playmaker.

Also, well done, Gianluca, if this made up, at touching that crazy nerve in all Spurs supporters that want to believe this could happen.

Michy is attracted to the Premier League| Mirror

Much in the same way that someone may be "attracted" and swipe right if they saw a potential mate on Tinder swimming in a vault of gold like Scrooge McDuck.

Monks were praying for Leicester City or something| Express

I'm f****** done with this story.

Ryan Lochte tells people Katie Ledecky is faster than him| NBC Sports