Everyone in the world has been spelling Mousa Dembele’s name wrong

Tottenham Hotspur’s Belgian midfielder Mousa Dembele dropped a bombshell on the Spurs community yesterday in an interview with Belgian paper HLN.be. It turns out that everyone on God’s green Earth has been spelling Dembele’s name wrong. For years.

“It’s ‘Moussa,’ with two S’s, I swear to you,” he said.

WHAT.

This is shocking and distressing news. TWO S’s? Tottenham’s official Twitter account referred to him as “Mousa” in the announcement of his signing back in 2012, and they’ve been referring to him as “Mousa” consistently ever since. Every article. Every tweet. Mousa, Mousa, Mousa.

It’s not just Spurs - Dembele’s official Twitter account is @mousadembele - with one S.

I can’t tell you how distressing this is to me. What’s a Tottenham Hotspur blogger to do? Years of articles published, a careful distinction made between the Fulham-Dembele linked to Tottenham and... uh, the other formerly Fulham-Dembele NOW at Tottenham. Mousa vs. Twossa. I thought I had it all figured out. Now I have no idea what to do.

Mous(s)a Dembele? Moußa Dembele? The Footballer Formerly Known As Mousa Dembele? Just “Moose?” I’M PARALYZED WITH INDECISION.

So why? Surely there’s a reason behind it. Mistaken identity? Mid-life crisis? Did Dembele the Younger kill a man and this is our guy’s plausible deniability? (“No, officer, I’m not that guy, he has TWO S’s in his name.”)

“It’s long story, but it is two-S’s-Moussa,” Dembele said. “I won’t tell you now, but I’ll discuss it with you in the future sometime if we are alone.”

I need to know.