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Arsenal supposedly made inquiry about Tottenham’s Dele All...ahahahahaha I can’t

Supposedly this is a thing that a..ahahahahahahahaha no seriously stop

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England v France - International Friendly Photo by Paul Gilham/Getty Images

I love transfer rumor season. Oh sure, there are the real actual rumors to report, and then there are things that are just so incredibly ridiculous that they just make you laugh out loud when you read them.

Like this one: reports are circulating from an Italian journalist connected to Gazzetta dello sport that Arsenal actually made an inquiry to Tottenham Hotspur about Dele Alli.

Putting aside the utter ridiculousness that Spurs would a) sell Dele Alli this summer, b) strengthen a Premier League rival, and c) that rival would be Arsenal, let’s pretend that this is a thing that actually happened. Imagine how that telephone conversation went:

Chips Keswick: Hello Daniel, just checking, how much for D...

Daniel Levy: No.

Keswick: But you didn’t even let me...

Levy: No.

Keswick: But if you’d just...

Levy: £125m.

Keswick: That’s outr...

Levy: -hangs up-

And that’s discounting perhaps the most compelling reason why Spurs won’t sell Dele Alli to Arsenal: it would make Eric Dier very, very sad. Nobody wants a sad Eric Dier.