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A Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links June 3, 2016

The error of all our ways...

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Good morning!

Yesterday I asked for themes for the Hoddle and you all came through; much appreciated. Now like a young Roy Hodgson I have to make sense of these mismatched ideas and parts to produce in hopes of producing something beautiful. I promise to even find football angles, too! Revolutionary stuff going on here, folks.

The first in a series of theme Hoddles deals with the idea that some movies don't age well. They're good when we're kids, but don't stand the test of time. He is referring, I believe, to my past assertion that The Sandlot is a good movie. Even I'll admit the acting by the kids isn't the best; they barely knew the lines and the dialogue was awkward, but have you actually ever spent time with early adolescents? It's brutal. It's like their brains are fighting their bodies, bodies which happen to already be at civil war with themselves. A fight between childhood and adulthood known as puberty. Bless those little mongrels.

Anyways, I looked a lot like Benny from that movie when I was about the same age so I like it. Sue me. Narcissism 1-0 Credible Movie Critique.

As for how this relates to football, I always really liked Giovani dos Santos. And Gio was pretty crap for Spurs. At the time I was so enamored by him being from Barcelona I didn't stop to think "oh, Barça really don't want him" and do the rather simple math. For a few fruitless years I sat and wondered, in naivety, when he was going to come good. At Tottenham, he never did.

Has he had a decent career? Sure, but he is also 27 years old, playing in MLS, so it's fair to say he has not fulfilled all the promise of years gone by. And what's really bad is that all this Gio talk has got me one moment of weakness away from searching eBay for a 17 shirt with his name on it, simply to out hipster the hipster. I didn't like Gio before he was cool. I liked Gio when he was never cool.

There it is, in one Hoddle, an admission of two miscalculations made by the younger version of me. You'll never get as much again.

And now for the "news":

Roy hits back at critics over Harry and Vardy usage| The Guardian

Apparently, I am not the only one who has a hard time saying that I didn't know what I was thinking.

Mkhitaryan offered nice salary by Juventus, wants nicer| Tuttosport

Listen, I know everybody loves the payday, but split the difference Henrikh. You'd be moving to Italy. Italy! He was loosely linked with Spurs, but with those contract demands I think we're all big enough people to root for him to make a quality of life/food based decision.

Eric Dier the least English bloke in the side| Mirror

I regret linking this, but more in a "sorry, not sorry" kind of way.

Rangers want to sign lots of players, including, still, Dominic Ball| Express

This recycled rumor is not why I linked, however. The most amazing sentence ever written in a transfer rumor lives in this article, and it's about Niko Krancjar. Sorry, Scotland.

Will Grigg's on fire| BBC

Just a s*** Kasabian for me.