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A Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links June 9, 2016

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In which we put prices on things

Michael Regan/Getty Images

Good morning!

Rumors are coming out of Marseille that the club needs to raise cash before the end of the month and that could see the negotiations of darling Michy's transfer to Tottenham pick up steam at that time. Clubs across the globe are often forced into this type of move, Etienne Capoue coming to Spurs from Toulouse a transaction we should all be familiar with.

This all too familiar transfer scenario got me to thinking: what would I, the prototypical everyman, sell if I needed to stave off financial ruin. Admittedly, I have very few physical possessions, but I do have a 1998 Ford Taurus sitting in my mother's garage for my visits home (New York renders me without the need of a car). When I say that I'd be lucky to get $1000 for that beauty, what I actually man is I'd be lucky to get $600. Side note: is it weird that I feel bad talking ill of my old car?

I also have the Macbook Air that I am using to fashion this very sentence; it is the cheapest version of the model one can buy, but it still cost a pretty penny. Considering depreciation, I think I could get $400-$500 for it. If this article stops appearing in my name in the near future, you know how it went down.

As a tangent to all this money talk, my mother once pointed out how much money I'd have if I put my drinking funds into the bank, but what fun would've that been? Moral of the story. I can't afford to fall in debt like football clubs.

Anyways, what would you all sell off if you, like Marseille, needed to raise cash fast. Don't say your bodies, either, you rogues.

And now for the "news":

Tottenham on the end of some transfer season banter from Chelsea| Express

This being the heart of silly season rumor mongering, it wouldn't be a summer without Chelsea poised to be a major thorn in our side. Whether it's setting football back three decades on their way to a Champions League win at our expense or signing Willian after we had him in for a medical, they just can't help themselves. Here we go again.

Additionally, it's the Express in early June, so take this with one grain of coarse, Kosher salt.

Dominic Ball told to report to Spurs for pre-season| Scottish Sun

Enough about the news that our "new Eric Dier" is being given a chance to be in the team, based on this report. Let's talk about the irony of this publications name. It's brilliant.

Resigned to losing Victor Wanyama to Tottenham and Pellé to Lazio, Southampton try to extend Long and Mané| Mirror

No way. That's great. We've been linked to Victory Wanyama! And we're favorites to land him.

Auction for Spurs| Hemel Gazette

No, not the whole club, dummies. Get a grip.

English speaking audiences are getting to know Fernando Fiore| SB Nation Soccer

He's fun. Like, really fun. Don't be fooled by that style of fun, though. As the article points out, he is smart and a professional through and through. Unlike many Copa America and Fox employees who can't spell things correctly or match a national anthem to its country.

Girl goes crazy when meeting WWE star Nikki Bella| SB Nation Lookit

I'm not trying to be funny by calling Skipjack a little girl. Straight facts in my link headline, homies.