Dear Hoddlers: our new regular Hoddle author will start tomorrow, and I think you’ll be quite pleased with who it is. (It’s not me.) In the mean time, today in the Former British Colonies we celebrate the day we finally overthrew the tyrannical yoke of our British imperial oppressors by cooking antibiotic-laden meat over propane grills, drinking beer, and lighting explosives in our back yards. Screw Brexit, we Brexited 240 years ago, suckers. Took y’all long enough.
Anyway, we all had late nights and stuff, so the Community Hoddle is suuuuuuper late.
And now the “news”:
Look, I’m sure Lucas Alario is a perfectly nice young man, but this is basically his agent saying “All you have do do is bid £11m and he’s yours!” Which probably isn’t technically true since it appears there’s third-party ownership involved here as well. Whatever. Let’s sign Janssen.
It’s The Sun, so no. I’m including it here only for the comedic value. No way Tuchel is dumb enough to spend £12m for a player who doesn’t play at Tottenham and wouldn’t play at Dortmund.
This is interesting. I don’t know this kid at all and have no idea whether he would have been a good fit at Spurs or not. My guess is that Spurs saw him as one for the future, while Bournemouth saw him as one for the present.