Harry Kane's ankle is dead. Long live the ankle!
Now that we've properly toasted his perpetual 90% fitness, let's get on to the football news.
Hahaha. I know, I almost had you didn't I? If you learned one thing from reading my works, and I'm fairly certain you haven't, it's that you know there's probably a bit. Clumsy transition to...
Let's now list the 5 worst things to ever happen to ankles throughout history.
1. Miniskirts. Seriously, before the invention of the mini, women would be chastised for showing a little ankle. Hurrah, women's lib, but has anyone considered how the ankle felt being desexualized? Hmmm??
2. Allen Iverson.
3. Harambe's death. I'm sure that if ankles had feelings, they would agree. It's also quite possible I'm projecting here, and I'm not crying, you're crying.
4. This website, dedicated to broken ankle humor. Please accept my liberal use of the word humor in this instance.
5. Charlie Adam. Go f*** yourself, Charlie.
Anyway, get well Harry! All the best during your recovery.
And now for the "news":
Don't worry, little guy; it's not you, it's them. However, if you were wondering what you could do to have people stop rejecting you, maybe cool it with the tricks and play some damn football. But it's totally them.
"We just hope it is not too bad," goalkeeper Lloris said. "It is true that, if you look at the images, we can be a bit worried, but all the medical staff are going to try to bring him back as quick as possible."
Whose storyline do we invest in the meantime? Janssen, Son, or an up and comer we never considered?!
When did the Mail start covering under 21s, you ask? Since Liverpool's team was good again.
Also, have I missed something? Is it an U-23 league now? I really don't care enough to research--I just want to bemoan change.
And Andi Thomas is here to chronicle it! I've hit the double!!
You have to have questions, but just trust me.