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Tuesday Hoddle of Coffee: News and Links for October 17th, 2017

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Tottenham Hotspur v AFC Bournemouth - Premier League Photo by Justin Setterfield/Getty Images

Good morning Spursland!

So, those of you living in the UK who are active on social meeedja might have noticed that both #apocalypse and #endofdays trended out here on Twitter yesterday. These hashtags were fuelled, as far as I could tell, by three main factors: i) reports of a ‘hurricane’ drawing in from the Atlantic Ocean (later downgraded to a heavy storm), ii) a mysterious orange glow that descended over the sky for a few hours, and iii) Real Madrid manager Zinedine Zidane making some disturbing overtures towards our very own ‘Arry Kane. EVERYONE HEAD FOR THE BUNKERS NOW (although take a moment to listen to your Theme of the Day and check out the links first, of course).

Links

Zidane was certainly one of the most talented footballers/headbutters to ever grace the game and may one day prove to be one of its all-time greatest managers, but it seems doubtful that he’d be able to outmatch Daniel Levy at his favourite game: negotiation. Particularly when it comes to Madrid’s purported interest in Harry Kane, which according to The Times would end up costing them a world-record £200m fee.

Before the off-pitch clashes can begin, of course, we have to get our actual game against Real out of the way- here’s a summary of things that key figures on both sides have said in advance of the tie from the Guardian.

Hey, remember the last time Spurs faced off against Madrid at the Bernabeu in the Champions League? Nope, strangely enough I don’t either. But apparently it happened- as recently as 2011!- and here’s a piece on where the squad that participated in that game have ended up now. Check out the fear in Jermaine Jenas’ eyes in that squad photo as he processes the fact that he’s able to tangle with Ronaldo for 90 minutes.

Elsewhere in football...

Sports Direct boss Mike Ashley has reported put Newcastle United up for sale, but like totally seriously for real this time. A word of advice to any potential buyers- if you hold off from bidding for a couple of months then he’ll move it to the reduced section and you’ll get a free pack of gym socks as part of the deal.

It’s pretty uncommon that a single pass is worthy of a whole analysis piece all of its own, but then again its also very very uncommon to see a play as sumptuous as Kevin De Bruyne’s assist-for-the-assist on Raheem Sterling’s goal against Stoke.

And finally...

Moussa Sissoko has his own chant amongst Spurs fans now and suddenly I fully believe that the end of days is actually nigh.