FanPost

Recurrently Generated Football League: St. Dertford - They found god in a Wiltshire field...

Editor's note: Another one! Great work.

St. Dertford's They found god in a Wiltshire field...

When most people think back to early days of the RGFL one team stands out almost by devein inspiration St. Dertford. Formed by the Trappist Monks from St. Dertford's Abbey in the Wiltshire village of Swallowcliffe as way to keep the reprobate youth off the street in 1863. St. Dertford were once the envy of the footballing world. During the swinging sixties the monks lead by talismanic centre half Joshua Vallis were the first British winners of the RGCL (Recurrently Generated Champions League) in 1964. Sadly though after this win and Joshua's hand of god goal in the final something of a curse stuck St. Dertford. Spending much of the last 50 years struggling in League Two some say it was god smiting them for cheating others that a professional club can not thrive if it expects players to play for free beer alone and refuse to play on Sundays (when many RGFL matches are scheduled for lucrative TV deals). During this time St. Dertford did manage to win a record 43 fair play awards and are still the only team not to have had a player sent off.

Recently St. Dertford's fortunes have been changing and the echoes of glory are once more surrounding The Abbey. Taken over in 2002 by the St. Dertford's Supporters trust the Monks have played there way up the football pyramid. With the club now playing the beautiful game and paying players (but still the club refuses to play on Sundays) they have found themselves promoted to the top flight in the last transfer window the trust has just spent a club record £12,000,000 on 19 year old Spanish centre forward Jesús Mesías who they believe can lead them to glory.

Despite the religious origins of the club they are one of the most inclusive teams in the league. When Fackenham star creative midfielder Daan Christensen was outed as gay by The Sun. Resulting in notorious homophobe and Fackenham owner Ricky Knight to freeze him out of the team. St. Dertford's welcomed him as their long lost son and he is now captain of an free roaming Monks side. They are also managed by the leagues only female manager Elizabeth Chippington who landed the role in 2012 after leading St. Dertford Women to the Woman's Recurrently Generated Football League Premier League 5 times in a row between 2007-12.

St. Dertford's Abbey ground despite being one of the smallest in the whole league structure constantly wins awards for the best looking in the league. Designed in the 1954 by legendary architect Eero Saarinen its beautiful neo-futuristic curves take the breath away. Sarrinen's masterpiece is set within the grounds of the gothic beauty of St. Dertford's abbey where the UK's only Trappist beer is brewed. The beauty of the ground coupled with St. Dertford’s total football leaves both home and away fans in tears as Sting’s Fields of Gold drifts out on the Wiltshire countryside.

Fitting with the morals of the club they forgo shirt sponsors in favour of supporting charities this seasons kit for the first season in the top flight since 1967 the Monks have chosen to support Amnesty International.

  
    
  
  
Nickname(s): The Monks, The Chosen, The Holy Elven, The God Squad, The God Botherers (derogatory), Bible Bashers (derogatory)    
Division: Premier League
Motto: Da Deus fortunae (God gives fortune)
Shirt Sponsor: Amnesty International
Stadium: The Abbey
Manager: Elizabeth Chippington
SB Nation blog: They Found God In A Football Team
Colours: White and Green
  
    
  
  

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