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Manchester City 4-1 Tottenham: Player ratings without a theme

Can I rate the City players instead? That’d be more fun.

Manchester City v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

Well, that sucked. Tottenham Hotspur got blitzed 4-1 against Manchester City at the Etihad on Saturday, looking like they might hold their own for brief periods before completely losing the plot and conceding three more after the 70th minute.

While the fog rolling into the stadium during the game was undoubtedly beautiful, the match itself was, quite simply, awful to watch if you are a Tottenham supporter. It’s hard to really pin down whether this loss came because Tottenham played poorly, or because Manchester City is quite probably the best team in Europe. Probably both. It was a perfect storm of suck, and I really don’t want to write this article.

Here are Tottenham’s player ratings, written because I have a job that requires me to write about Spurs, even when they are bad. But I’m not giving it a theme, because this match really didn’t deserve one.

Hugo Lloris: Why am I giving a goalkeeper who let in four goals in a single match a rating this high? Because without Hugo Lloris, Spurs might have lost by seven or eight. There isn’t a whole lot Hugo could’ve done for any of the goals conceded (except maybe the last one), and he made some critical stops during the match.

Christian Eriksen: Eriksen had his struggles, but in the few brief spells of possession that Spurs had at the Etihad, he played a central role. Plus he scored what really was a pretty spectacular goal right before time, even if most won’t give him credit for it due to the context of the match.

Harry Kane: Harry didn’t get the service he had hoped for in this match but still managed to get a few shots away, a couple of which that went close. Should be given credit for being kicked in the face but persevering. He also worked his tail off, though could have been sent off for his bad tackle on Sterling.

Jan Vertonghen, Eric Dier, Son Heung-Min, Harry Winks, Mousa Dembele, Danny Rose: I could spend 20 minutes writing up individual reports for all of these guys, but the truth is all of them were completely outclassed and outplayed by what really looks like the best team in Europe on Saturday. From Vertonghen’s conceded penalty, to Winks & Dembele getting steamrolled in midfield, to Dier’s hospital ball back-pass, to Sonny’s ineffectual offense -- it was just pretty bad all around.

Dele Alli: The above players were all pretty bad, but Dele was worse. He played like “frustrated Dele” almost from the opening kick, and we all know what Dele plays like when he’s overly frustrated. I’m not sure how he didn’t get sent off for his horror tackle on De Bruyne. He should have. I’d like to think form is temporary, but Dele has not shown anything close to the level we’ve come to expect from him on a consistent basis this season.

Kieran Trippier: An utterly shocking display from Tottenham’s right back. Leroy Sane is a very good player, but Trippier was completely lost and out of position on numerous occasions, at least two of which led to City goals, and Sane torched him several other times. Trippier also didn’t do much going forward, though there was a brief moment where he looked brightish in the second half before the second goal. We don’t give one-star ratings. This was very close to one.

No Tottenham Hotspur players were as bad as a match that doesn’t deserve a ratings theme.

Erik Lamela, Moussa Sissoko, Ben Davies