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Tuesday Hoddle of Coffee, English Xavi’s Revenge Edition, April 5, 2017

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Please don’t hurt us, English Xavi

AFC Bournemouth v Swansea City - Premier League Photo by Warren Little/Getty Images

Apologies for the late Hoddle. I just put the finishing touches on a fairly massive project for one of my other side jobs and am only now getting around to hoddling. For that reason... abbreviated hoddle day.

We’re playing Swansea in a few hours. There is an excellent chance that three former Spurs players will be in the starting XI: Kyle HE’S NOT A LEFT BACK Naughton, TAWMMY FACKIN ENGLISH XAVI CARROLL, and Gylfi Thor Sigurdsson.

Two questions:

  1. On a scale of 1-10, how scared are you of one of those three players scoring today?
  2. If English Xavi gets the goal, will you join me in blaming it on Skipjack?
  3. Actually, one more question: What’s your favorite quote from the article linked in question number two?