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I have always been fascinated by the question of what sports managers would do in the absence of their sports. I asked friends and twitter friends what they thought and we came up with the definitive list.
Thanks to everyone who contributed, and you're welcome.
Jurgen Klopp: Cult Leader (mostly benevolent)
Mauricio Pochettino: Cult Leader (non-benevolent)
Antonio Conte: Blood-and-thunder Preacher somehow at the center of Italian national politics without any known official government position
Pep Guardiola: Leading Mixologist who gets very angry if you call him a bartender
Arsene Wenger: Social Worker (@_Zeets)
Jose Mourinho: Lawyer. Just, a lawyer. (@masroorhussnain)
Marc Wilmots: Manager of one of the last 10 remaining Radio Shacks (@paulmobuckets)
Claudio Ranieri: High School Music Teacher, is very happy with his life (@DavidSRudin)
Tim Sherwood: Real Estate Agent, Used Car Salesman, Entrepreneur Who Will Make It Big This Time If He Can Just Get Another Loan From You, Has Contacted You on LinkedIn
Sam Allardyce: Small-time Mob Boss, claims he could run the whole thing (@AaronWGordon)
Rafa Benitez: Builds, paints, sells, and collects model trains (@actionpollock)
Johan Cruyff: Tenured Professor, hasn't published in decades, does sex with everyone
Alan Pardew: Nightclub Owner, does sex with married women exclusively
Andre Villas-Boas: Corporate Management Consultant (@sebastiansings)
Alex Ferguson: First Citizen of the socialist paradise United No-Longer-A-Kingdom
Zinedine Zidane: International Movie Star (@theOGAW)
Michael Laudrup: Billionaire, nobody knows why, never wears shoes (@cover_shadow)
Marcelo Bielsa: Marcelo Bielsa (@philby1976)
Louis van Gaal: Pornography Mogul (@unlikelymaths)
Diego Simeone: Generalissimo of terrifyingly efficient mercenary army
Mark Hughes: PE Teacher, sad and mostly re-living past glories (@DavidSRudin)
Tony Pulis: PE Teacher, fucking loves his job
Eddie Howe: Semi-Professional Game of Thrones Blogger
Roy Hodgson: Local Butcher, weekend Patrick O'Brian Cosplayer
Thomas Tuchel: Popular Math Professor, Vampire the Masquerade Enthusiast
Jurgen Klinsmann: Infomercial Host and Inventor facing multiple patent lawsuits
Bruce Arena: Cop, too old for this shit, one week away from retirement
Miguel Herrera: Midcard Luchador with working class gimmick (El Fontanero)
Paolo Di Canio: Very intense Moderator of a, let's say, fringe message board