Tottenham Hotspur demolished Hull City 7-1 today at the KCOM Stadium in Hull, which is awesome and exciting and a great way to end the Premier League season. Reserve keeper Michel Vorm got in on the excitement by tweeting this photo of the Spurs squad in the Hull away locker room after the game.
But if you look closely, there’s a lot to unpack here. Let’s dig in.
- Eric Dier is eating pizza and looks to be very pleased about this fact. But he’s the only one with pizza! Where’s the rest of it? Did Eric eat all the pizza? I mean, Eric looks like the kind of guy who could put away 2 or 3 pizzas on his own without any trouble.
- The rest of the team looks awfully unhappy considering that they just beat Hull 7-1. Why aren’t they smiling? Are they mad at Dier for eating all the pizza?
- Does Eric Dier eating all the pizza exemplify a disdain for his teammates, and consequently how big will his transfer fee to Manchester United be this summer?
- Eric’s pizza looks awfully small. Is that typical for English pizzas? Are UK pizzas just smaller than regular pizzas? That’s weird. Pizzas should not be smaller than your head. Score one for ‘MERICA.
- I can’t imagine that pizza is a typical post-match meal for Tottenham Hotspur players thanks to the high concentration of grease and fat. So where did the pizzas come from? Is it a special post-season meal? (Seems suspicious considering there’s still that Hong Kong squad to prepare for.) Dele and Eric got subbed off together, maybe they placed a cheeky Domino’s order from the locker room.
- Son Heung-Min is holding up six fingers. That’s obviously too few to indicate number of goals scored. He’s also smiling, so is that how many slices he ate? (What does Sonny like on his pizza? Marmite? I’m guessing marmite.)
- Sam Shashoua is a cutie-pie and is also smiling. I guess Dier gave him a bite.
- Is Dier wearing pants? Is Christian? I assume Dele isn’t because I like to believe in the idea that he wears pants as little as possible.
- Sonny is very close to Dier, and Dele has his arm around Kevin Wimmer. This makes me very uncomfortable for some reason.
- This is Vorm’s tweet, but he’s in the picture, so who’s taking the photo? And where’s Harry Kane? And is there a chance that Kane took the photo and then congratulated himself on Michel’s Twitter account? WE NEED TO KNOW.
- I’m totally ordering pizza tonight.
Post your theories and comments below.