As we have mentioned frequently over the past few weeks, it’s extremely likely that Tottenham Hotspur are going to purchase a new central defender this offseason. Yesterday, the rumor mill suggested a potential move for Dortmund’s Matthias Ginter. Today, there’s a far more likely report in the Evening Standard linking Spurs to Ajax defender Joel Veltman.
So this one actually does make sense. Veltman, 25, is a solid defender on a team that made the Europa League finals, and was probably Ajax’s best player in a game in which they got curb-stomped by Manchester United. The Standard says that he can play center back and right back, and is proficient in playing in a back three. He would be excellent depth on a team that already features Toby Alderweireld and Jan Vertonghen. Plus, he might only cost £8m, which makes this a much better deal than the Ginter rumor.
But that’s not the reason we should sign him. We should sign him because he’s apparently a delightfully brazen asshole to whom things like “sportsmanship” are mere guidelines. Check out this YouTube video for proof.
That’s Veltman, in an Eredivisie match against Sparta Rotterdam from last February, indicating to the Sparta defender that he intends to kick the ball out of bounds so that his injured teammate can receive treatment, only for him to blow past him and attempt to score. Which is a colossal dick move, and yet still pretty awesome.
"I was just being clever," Veltman told Metro. "Bertrand went down and I thought to myself 'I am going to use this to my advantage'. I pretended to kick the ball out of play, but when my opponent looked behind him, I just went past him instead.
"I know that it was perhaps not the most beautiful thing to do, but it was just something clever, nothing more. I can have a good laugh about it.
"My team-mates told me in the dressing room that they would have kicked me hard had I pulled off something like this against one of them. What would I have done had my cross resulted in a goal? A goal is a goal!
"I think people are exaggerating all this a bit. It was not like I found myself one-on-one with the goalkeeper after it.
"But let's not turn this into something big. It is better to laugh about it than turn it into something big. I will not do it again, also because I don't think it will work again."
Joel Veltman is the spiritual, and possible literal, successor to Jan Vertonghen. He would fit in immediately on this Tottenham Hotspur team that includes Jan, Dele Alli, Danny Rose, and Eric Dier. Tottenham Hotspur should buy him immediately.