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Wednesday Hoddle of Coffee, Dumb American Edition, July 5, 2017

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Today’s Hoddle is short because its author is a dumb American.

Muhammad Ali's Celebrity Fight Night XXIII - Show Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images for Celebrity Fight Night

Yesterday we got some artillery shells to shoot off for the fourth before we put our kids to bed.

I tried to light one of the shells with a bic lighter because I was too lazy to get a punk from our garage.

Artillery shell fuses spark a lot when lit.

I burned two fingers.

Typing is hard.

My left hand is in a jar of cold water right now.

Here is a short Hoddle.