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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Tuesday, November 27

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Harry Redknapp is finally rewarded.

Tottenham Hotspur v Chelsea FC - Premier League Photo by David Ramos/Getty Images

Hi, all!

Here is a pair of questions that you’ll only get at the end of the ramble: How many times did Harry Redknapp say “jam roly poly” in episode 9, and how many times did everyone else combined say it?

Ramble of the Day

Episode 9 wasn’t about Harry Redknapp. It was about John Barrowman, James McVey, and Rita Simons as they tried to win spots at a feast in the Australian wild for everyone else in the camp. After dealing with a literal cliffhanger, going into a cave, swimming through part of a body of water, and zip-lining, they earned ten seats out of eleven. Camp leader Nick Knowles opted to let everyone else go, and I’m now surprised at how quickly I summed up the entire episode.

There was a span of about seven minutes, though, that was all about that feast. Harry Redknapp has quickly become the go-to food critic of the camp, allowing him to take center stage. The rest of this ramble will detail the one segment, and will also be a test of how much I can write about one scene in a reality show.

The contestants entered the dining space and were happy to see the meats and fruits at the table. Sair Khan was one of the first to start uncovering the other treats, quickly putting a cover down and telling Redknapp to look at it. She screamed “JAM ROLY POLY” and Redknapp said “unbelievable.” The whole group started shouting in joy, and some excitedly screaming “Harry!” The camera cut to a one-on-one with Barrowman screaming “JAM ROLY POLY AND CUSTARD!”

Malique Thompson-Dwyer was so excited at the feast that he ate a plate a food so quickly he almost vomited, but it was all good. While everyone was enjoying their roast chicken, beef, and other foods, someone asked Redknapp about his jam roly poly. “Lovely,” he called it before we got a one-on-one with him. “It was the taste of my childhood,” he said as he remembered that his grandmother used to make the dessert. Eventually, everyone moved on to drinks, and Redknapp gave a toast: “Cheers to jam roly poly!” The whole group happily toasted to it, too.

They likely left nothing on the table, and as they were headed back to camp, Redknapp had to say his goodbyes. “Bye, chicken!,” he said before someone reminded him to wish his sweet dessert goodbye. “Bye jam roly poly!,” he said before the audience finally saw Knowles again.

Knowles traded stories about making bean burgers while asking the rest what they enjoyed. Simons told him about the meats while Redknapp was quick to share the news of the jam roly poly. As the conversation about food wound down, Redknapp talked — or should I say, wrote a song — about Thompson-Dwyer’s night. With the help of Fleur East, he said Thompson-Dwyer enjoyed “four yorkshire puddings, three roast beefs, two chickens, and a jam roly poly!”

Your final counts: Redknapp said “jam roly poly five times, the whole group combined for six.

tl;dr: Harry Redknapp has pudding and eats it, too.

Links of the Day

Andrés Iniesta revealed that he suffered from depression in the months after FC Barcelona in the 2008-09 season.

UEFA has said Arsenal’s Europa League match at Vorskla Poltava will go ahead despite Ukraine president Petro Poroshenko imposing martial law in the country.

Today’s longer read: Jonathan Liew on Dele Alli’s performance against Chelsea and his evolution into a multifaceted midfielder in defense and attack for The Independent