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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday, November 28

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What a day in the jungle for Harry Redknapp.

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Tottenham Hotspur Training Session and Press Conference Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images

Hey, everyone!

I’ve begun searching for where I can find a jam roly poly in New York because Harry Redknapp was talking about them again! I’ll ask you all once again to guess how many times he said “jam roly poly” and how many times the group did, but there was more than just food for thought on episode 10.

Ramble of the Day

There were some tensions when Noel Edmonds joined the group, but it seems as if everyone is getting along. The team spirit is still as strong as ever, and was on display as Anne Hegerty was sent off to the Bushtucker trial involving a fake abandoned hospital. Harry Redknapp joined his friends in the jungle, telling her to “just do your best,” adding in a one-on-one that “we just hope she’s all right.”

Hegerty was all right, but while the group waited for her return, Redknapp had an idea. He wanted to place bets on how many stars she’d pick up and how many servings of a meat the camp would have for dinner, and a few engaged. John Barrowman bet on five, Rita Simons went with seven, and Redknapp himself went in the middle with six. The prize, he decided, was £50,000 worth of jam roly polys, and when Hegerty came back with seven, Simons was the winner. Redknapp was unlucky, but he came up with an exit plan: He would start off by letting Simons eat as many jam roly polys in one sitting as she could, and when she maxed out, he would be out of fulfilling the rest of the obligation because she wouldn’t want any more.

Later, in the group’s downtime, Redknapp decided to learn some things from youngsters Fleur East and Malique Thompson-Dwyer. Redknapp said “right on, mate!” to sound young and hip, and then the young and hip people responded by teaching him the verb grind. Eventually, this resulted in East and Thompson-Dwyer doing the greatest possible thing they could’ve done: They came up with a rap for Redknapp to eventually tell his wife, Sandra. I’m glad the video exists, because it’s much better to see it than to read my description of it.

I hope I’ll see the look on Sandra’s face if “MC Hazza” (East’s nickname) ever sings that to her. (I’d actually love to see the dynamic between Redknapp and the woman that loves that zany man.)

Later in the day, East and Edmonds went in a cold body of water and won some dingo dollars, and apparently over 60% of Brits believe aliens exist. Anyway, the two of them walked back to the camp with a small bowl of scampi fries instead of luxury items for those still missing them. Redknapp’s was a chair, and he was upset that East and Edmonds hadn’t brought that because he wanted to offer it to Hegerty. He and the rest of the group cheered up, though, when East and Edmonds announced that the snack was going straight to Nick Knowles, the only member of the camp to not enjoy the feast from the night before. When Knowles wanted to offer a fry to everyone, Redknapp quickly replied: “No, Nick. We ain’t having any of your s***.” Knowles enjoyed the fries, but didn’t comment the way Redknapp would.

Finally, it was time for dinner, and the group enjoyed silkie, and no one knew what it was. James McVey thought it might be a pigeon, and when Redknapp saw it, he said, “I don’t like the look of it it. I don’t want it,” a common comment from him. Eventually, though, he enjoyed his dinner, wonderfully cooked by Barrowman.

Before his contributions for the episode ended, Redknapp told a story about his cooking habits. He’s not much of a cook, saying he would probably put a bird in the frying pan with the feathers still on. That said, he isn’t totally inept in the kitchen: “I make toast. I’ve got a toaster,” he said. He does grill, though, usually with a glass of wine in hand. Before the show cut to the next morning, Redknapp shared a story about the time he dropped a steak he was grilling and then put it back on the grill because no one saw it fall. Maybe it’s best he’s not in charge of the food at the Redknapp household.

Final jam roly poly count: one for the whole group (Simons said it), five for Redknapp, all said within a span of three-ish minutes.

tl;dr: Redknapps bets and sings, but doesn’t cook.

Links of the Day

The man who bombed the Borussia Dortmund team bus in 2017 has been sentence to 14 years in prison.

Nigeria and South Africa have qualified for the Women’s World Cup. It will be South Africa’s first time at the tournament.

The second leg of the Copa Libertadores final will be played outside of Argentina, but a date and location are not yet set.

Arsenal will face Vorskla Poltava in Kiev while Ukraine is under martial law, UEFA has decided.

Sol Campbell has been appointed manager of Macclesfield Town.

Today’s longer read: James Maw on the Aaron Lennon super fan in Turkey for FourFourTwo