The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Thursday, November 29

Hey, Hoddlers!

I’m afraid our guy Harry Redknapp (feel free to debate whether or not he’s “our guy”) wasn’t up to much in episode 11 of I’m a Celebrity. Will that stop me from rambling about it? Of course not. I am fully committed.

Ramble of the Day

Remember how I was talking about camaraderie and incredible team spirit yesterday? You don’t because you either don’t read rambles like gospel or didn’t read it all and for whatever reason decided to read today? Well, I was talking about that yesterday, but host Holly Willoughby wasn’t kidding when she said tensions would flare on episode 11. Harry Redknapp managed to stay out of most of them, but that doesn’t mean the drama wasn’t there.

You’re probably wondering, Why should I keep reading if this has nothing to do with Harry Redknapp? Two things: one, he’ll pop up later, don’t worry; two, the stuff the contestants fought over is a little bit ridiculous and funny as I begin to recall. I’ll put them out in a list:

• Noel Edmonds and Nick Knowles continue to bash heads over Edmonds’s difficulty following the rules. The rule of issue: Contestants are never allowed to leave camp on their own. Edmonds’s problem is that he wakes up long before anyone else does and wants to get to his tasks right away, but can’t. Knowles, as the current camp leader, has to enforce the rules, but that’s led to some problems.
• John Barrowman and Rita Simons had a bit of a rice issue. Before dinnertime, some people got hungry, so as the camp’s designated chefs along with Sair Khan, they decided to cook some rice to feed everyone. Barrowman allocated four servings for 11 people, which Simons thought was too little. They spatted about ... stuff? I don’t really remember. At the end, Redknapp said he didn’t need rice and cracking a joke about being in the Special Armed Services. “Imagine Harry being in the military!,” Fleur East exclaimed, and the rice thing was over.
• Barrowman and Knowles got into a disagreement about men touching women’s underwear while doing laundry. Barrowman was Team “It’s Fine,” while Knowles wasn’t, and it eventually went to a discussion of bodily functions and what people will do (or won’t) in front of their significant others. Redknapp chimed in, agreeing with East, who seems to be his best friend in the jungle, that they won’t go out of their way to do gross things in front of their significant others. Again, the segment ended on that note.
• There was a dinner related incident that led to Barrowman in a one-on-one telling anyone that didn’t like his cooking to “p*** off.” (Did that need to be bleeped? I don’t know.) I think everyone enjoyed dinner, though.

I’m glad we made our way to dinner, because that’s obviously where Redknapp is a crucial part of the entertainment. After Khan and Malique Thompson-Dwyer ate gross things and won everyone in camp a meal, the meat of choice from the powers that be was camel. Redknapp found out and said, “I can’t eat a camel. ... I didn’t think anyone ate camel. I thought you could only take a ride on one.” Anne Hegerty said that while everyone else was starving, Redknapp was once again threatening to become a vegetarian, but as usual, he ate the meat. He admitted the camel was chewy, but thought it was fine.

Tomorrow should be more fun, as he, Barrowman, and Knowles were voted team captains of the first IMMUNITY GAMES! That means someone’s going to get out soon, and someone’s going to win eventually! But that means someone’s going to get out soon. I’m not so sure I’m ready to say goodbye to anyone yet.

There were no jam roly poly mentions in episode 11.

tl;dr: Weird fights and a review of camel.

Links of the Day

A report suggests that there is a clause in standard FA WSL contracts that allows clubs to sack players who miss more than three months of the season through injury.

Bradley Johnson bit Joe Allen during Stoke’s 2-1 victory over Derby yesterday.

River Plate president Rodolfo D’Onofrio wants Boca Juniors president Daniel Angelici to change his stance about River being disqualified from the Copa Libertadores.

Irish amateur club Ballybrack FC faked a player’s death instead of announcing his departure from the team.

Behind a paywall reading: Michael Caley on Tottenham moving away from the struggles in the start of the season for The Athletic

Today’s longer read: David Conn provides a break down of the PFA independent review for The Guardian