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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday, December 19

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Name games.

Tottenham Hotspur v Burnley FC - Premier League Photo by Mike Hewitt/Getty Images

Hi, Hoddlers!

I’m watching an old EastEnders episode that just happens to be on TV so I could spot Rita Simons, and I did! (This episode has also been pretty dramatic and interesting.)

Ramble of the Day

Allow me to state the obvious: my name isn’t a common one in most parts of the world. It means that I’ve gotten into the habit of spelling my name out from time to time, mainly when I’m ordering things over the phone and they need my full name. I’m even in a little bit of a rhythm — “P like pear; A like apple” and so on. (One time I couldn’t think of a word for R, so I said rhinoceros.)

There are plenty of occasions where my full name isn’t needed, like I have to wander into a Starbucks. For years, I actually tried spelling out my first name to the baristas and it would be spelled wrong every time. I figured out that using my initials, “PC,” could get around the problem. I don’t have to make up a name that I’ll have a hard time responding to when called upon, and it’s just an easier experience. Of course, Starbucks has still spelled that wrong on occasion (“Pece,” “EZ”) because they are ultimately well-known for it, but it usually works elsewhere. The trick, I’ve found, is to go “PC, like personal computer,” and they know what you’re talking about. That said, I might be running into a problem.

I ordered lunch at a place a few weeks ago, and the person behind the cash register asked me for a name. I said “PC,” and she asked how I spell that. I said something along the lines of, “PC, like the letters — personal computer,” but the teenager’s face didn’t change. I said to her, mostly thinking out loud, that she’s probably too young to get it, and she ended up spelling it wrong anyway, but I realized I had a dilemma. What happens if I can’t tell people “PC, like personal computer anymore?”

I remembered the time I said my initials and the person behind the cashier said “protective custody.” We both laughed and chatted about jails, but I’m not going to use that line on most people. It might be jarring for a lot of them. One time, someone asked “PC, like P.C. Richard & Son?,” the name of a chain of American appliance stores. It was a new one, but I’m not sure if everyone knows P.C. Richard and it’s not like it comes to my mind frequently, anyway. I’m left with political correctness (which I will never use), pancreatic cancer (same deal), and maybe “PC, like not-Apple computers.” Still a little bit rusty, I know.

Maybe I’ll just bring a sign with me everywhere to make sure the people that need to get it right. Maybe I’ll think of a good, quick line. Maybe I’ll struggle forever. Who knows?!

tl;dr: A personal, but not uncommon, name-related struggle.

Links of the Day

The Tottenham fan that threw a banana peel at Arsenal’s Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang has banned from football matches for four years and fined £500.

The FA Cup will not have replays from the fifth round on, starting in the 2019-2020 season.

Manchester United have accidentally announced that Ole Gunnar Solskjær will replace José Mourinho on an interim basis.

[in Spanish] Club América will celebrate its senior men’s team’s title, senior women’s team title, and under-17 men’s team title together, calling it a triple.

David Squires recaps the Premier League weekend pre-Mourinho sacking in his latest cartoon.

Today’s longer read: James Cronin on the historic and competitive Kolkata derby that attracts around 100,000 people each match day for the BBC