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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Monday, December 3

Harry Redknapp, loser of many things.

Arsenal FC v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images

Hey, Hoddlers!

Some of you didn’t celebrate loudly enough when I didn’t ramble about Harry Redknapp on Friday, so I must ramble about it again. (Just kidding; this ramble was always going to be I’m a Celebrity-based.) Enjoy a video of the world’s worst/best corner kick because it’s that noteworthy before I get started.

Ramble of the Day

In episodes 12, 13, and 14, Harry Redknapp lost quite a bit. Leads, friends, roles, food — you name it. At the start of episode 12, he was given the task of captaining Team Roo, but his first task as team captain required him finding puzzle pieces and assembling said puzzle. That wasn’t exactly good news for Redknapp; “I’ve never done a jigsaw puzzle,” he said. “I could be here two days!” It didn’t take him that long, and after he was the first to find the pieces and get to the puzzle-making stage of the Bushtucker trial, opposing team captains Nick Knowles of Team Galah and John Barrowman of Team Koala beat him to it.

Placing third in a draft to create three-people teams, Redknapp still walked away with a stellar team of his best friend in the jungle whose name he can’t pronounce, Fleur East, and fit young lad James McVey. He encouraged viewers to put a tenner on Team Roo if one fancies a pint because “it’ll be the best bet you’ll have all year.” Reunited with his teammates, they came up with a song and he came up with a pun, saying the others will get “roo-ined” if they try to beat Team Roo. He was just about right; despite two second-place finishes in the rest of the day’s challenges, it was Team Roo who had the most points and got to enjoy a fancy dinner while the rest of the group was stuck with the dreaded rice and beans.

At the end of episode 12, McVey seemingly made a reference to Pep Guardiola, saying, “We have the best manager in the world who’s used to being on top.” That said, I did not see Guardiola anywhere in the jungle. Over a dinner of emu sausage, Redknapp’s “worst nightmare” that was ultimately better than rice and beans, he came up with a plan. He suggested that they play down the dinner so that no one would be that eager to win the challenges. It didn’t work

In episode 13, immunity was on the line, and Knowles’s Team Galah, with Sair Khan and Malique Thompson-Dwyer, won it, but Redknapp wasn’t happy. For all of the camaraderie and love they all have for each other, he just wanted everyone to admit that they did care who won and who lost. After losing another opportunity to win immunity, won by Barrowman and East, Redknapp lost another thing — a special dinner. For the first time in the jungle, he had to eat only rice and beans, , which he didn’t complain about much.

For all of the feuding and rivalry of episode 13, though, it ended with a love-fest. The powers that be brought the campers some booze, and those up for elimination — Redknapp, Emily Atack, Noel Edmonds, Anne Hegerty, James McVey and Rita Simons — went around and shared how much they loved their time in the jungle and each other. “You’ve been fantastic,” Redknapp said to the group before the next morning revealed that it was Edmonds’s time to go. After Redknapp lost a friend, everyone said their goodbyes and quickly started sorting through the belongings Edmonds left behind. Redknapp walked away with his old friend’s razor.

Redknapp took a back seat in episode 14 as the teams were disbanded, immunity was no longer an option, and a new team leader had to be chosen. Redknapp got two votes and quickly said “I don’t want it!” Lucky for him, McVey got three votes and became the team leader who did not know what to do with the responsibility. McVey gave Redknapp laundry duty, which he said he hasn’t done since he met his wife, but will happy to give it a go. East teased Redknapp about being the messiest member of the jungle after she was assigned clean up duties, and Redknapp teased back by saying the power has gone to “Flair’s” head.

Episode 14 ended, as it always does, with a dinner review. When eel showed up, Redknapp quickly replied, “I love eels!” He hadn’t had an eel quite that big, though, and wasn’t sure anyone else there had, either. Knowles gave advice as Atack cut the eel open, and Redknapp wondered if Knowles actually knew what he was doing because “you can’t put down a good eel.” At the end of the night, MC Hazza came out with a song called “Do the Riggle.”

There were no jam roly poly mentions over the course of these episodes.

tl;dr: Love and loss with Harry Redknapp in the jungle.

Links of the Day

Cameroon and New Zealand are the last two teams to have qualified for the Women’s World Cup.

Cameroon has been stripped of the hosting rights to the Africa Cup of Nations with the tournament six months away.

UEFA has confirmed that a third European club competition, currently with the working title of Europa League 2, will begin play in 2021.

The U.S. has hired Gregg Berhalter as its next men’s national team coach.

Today’s longer read: Matt Davis interviews Eibar president Amaia Gorostiza on being at the top of La Liga’s smallest club and being a woman in a role usually filled by men for the BBC