Hello, everybody! Let’s get to that ramble.
Ramble of the Day
I almost tried to squish the following into yesterday’s Hoddle, but it would have been a bit much.
Anyway, I was watching the Super Bowl and the commercials the other night, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson appeared on the screen. I guessed it was for his latest film, Rampage, which looks awful. (Naomie Harris, you can do better!)
My older sister started laughing, and asked, “Did you see the parabola?” I had not heard the word “parabola” since my AP Calculus BC class in my senior year of high school, but more importantly, I did not think a film about a gorilla would bring conversations of parabolas. I was confused, and so I asked my sister why this Rampage movie was dealing with advanced mathematics.
“It’s a different movie,” she said. “I think it’s called Skyscraper.”
It is called Skyscraper. Here’s the trailer:
That looks ... like ... a movie. There is a lot to remark on, but let’s start with the more obvious one. In this case, I will share someone else’s roasting.
**WRITERS ROOM**— Zach Harper (@talkhoops) February 5, 2018
“Are we worried this is going to be panned as a Die Hard ripoff?”
“Give The Rock a prosthetic foot.”
“Are we worried we’re going to make TOO much money?"
But back to that parabola bit from earlier. The trailer leaves us with the all-important scene of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson making the leap from one building to another, aiming for a safe window, with us having to wait until the movie’s release to find out whether or not he makes it, though the assumption is that he does make it. But how?
Thankfully, that’s what math is for.
I’ve mocked up some parabolas for The Rock’s SKYSCRAPER jump. Red is assuming he jumped up a bit first; green assuming he ran forward and somehow didn’t lose momentum; yellow for a sort of squat-thrust thing.— James Smythe (@jpsmythe) February 2, 2018
Whichever you choose, rest in peace The Rock, as you are dead now. pic.twitter.com/cAytzrWMRW
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is not supposed to make it into that window. Even if you get rid of those parabolas drawn onto the poster, it is a bit hard to imagine him making that window. In the trailer, it looks even less likely that he will live.
My main takeaway, other than this film looks gloriously awful, is that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will release two bad movies before the summer is over. It is somewhat impressive, is it not?
Shall I get to those links?
Links of the Day
Sir Bobby Charlton wrote a letter to Manchester United players and staff about the Munich air disaster ahead of its 60 year anniversary.
Ronald Koeman is set to become the next manager of the Netherlands’ men’s side.
Al Dhafra defendre Yasser Abdullah scored an own goal from 20 yards over the weekend in the Arabian Gulf League match against Al Jazira.
The day’s longer read: A profile of Corinne Diacre, one part of the changing French women’s national team as they prepare for the 2019 World Cup, which they are hosting.