The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Thursday, March 1

Hi, snowed in Europe-based folks! It felt like spring in New York yesterday, but do not worry, I know all about bad transit on snowy days.

Before I get started, let me dedicate a song to yesterday’s hattrick man, Fernando Llorente! Did not know he had it in him! Anyway, here is the song I almost always have in my head when I think about him, so now I must inflict the same on the rest of you.

Now, for what I like to think is the main attraction.

Ramble of the Day

Everyone’s favorite elbow thrower, Érik Lamela, is an active man on Instagram, usually making posts about his baby son who seems to not love it when his father shoves a camera in his face. Anyway, after the match, Lamela took to Instagram to share feelings on someone else: his deceased dog, Simba.

This short Instagram video is only a few seconds long, and yet, there are two parts to this Instagram story. Part one provides a glance at one of Lamela’s shin guards, which features a unique dedication to his family.

Lamela is, unfortunately, not the greatest cinematographer, and so there is never quite a clear picture of what exactly is happening on that shin guard. From what I can see, though, there appears to be a relatively large picture of Simba on a black backdrop, surrounded by photoshopped images of other members of his family. Why? Was there not a picture of Simba with his family that could organically make a good shin guard, or at least would not require photoshop?

Now, for part two, which really makes the Instagram story special.

THE GUY HAS A THIGH TATTOO OF HIS DEAD DOG. I repeat, THE GUY HAS A THIGH TATTOO OF HIS DEAD DOG. Again, I ask: Why? Also, looking at a thigh tattoo of a dog from the upside down angle is strange. I cannot even tell if it is a well done tattoo!

Regardless, I cannot help but embrace the Argentine. He is as weird as they come, and he loves his dog.

Links of the Day

Mauricio Pochettino does not love VAR.

Alessandro Costacurta, the man in charge of finding the Italian men’s national team’s next coach, has made Antonio Conte his top choice.

Louis van Gaal thinks José Mourinho should have been nicer to Bastian Schweinsteiger.

Today’s longer read: The Guardian’s Sid Lowe on the unique tale of Barcelona player Quini, who died on Tuesday.