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Recurrently Generated Football League: midseason update

Time to see how Fackenham, Clood, Loonsmead, and Wodgy Villa are doing.

Several months ago we introduced you to the Recurrently Generated Football League, a completely fictional league made up of completely fictional teams whose names were generated with a computer.

We had some fun, didn’t we?

Well, we promised you in that original article that we would take this thing as stupidly far as possible, including plugging the teams into Football Manager and simulating a season. And then we all got busy and forgot about it. Sorry about that.

But it’s international break and we’re bored again, so it’s time to revisit it! Thanks to the work of CFC writer Bryan A., who laboriously entered the names of all four RGFL leagues into FM17, we can now begin to share with you the results of a computer simulating matches with simulated players on simulated football teams with simulated names. For science.

But because we haven’t fully squeezed all the blood out of this particular stone, we’re only giving you a mid-season update. Here are the RGFL tables at the midpoint of the season, followed by some takeaways, all of which I made up because yes.

Recurrently Generated Football League: Midseason Tables

Premier League Pts Championship Pts League 1 Pts League 2 Pts
Premier League Pts Championship Pts League 1 Pts League 2 Pts
Leet Welfare 51 Fab Town 75 Sheat 53 Falmoughbasgagliell & Tuwrowe Fore 46
Wodgy Villa 46 Highworch United 48 Peepstone Patlife 49 Dorchambers 45
St. Dertford 44 Salderland Dynanaby 46 Cokers 49 Kingswooth Town 43
Hellesdope Coldent County 44 Littletock 43 Borness Welsseries 47 Rancling City 42
Death Migers Town 42 Gaixworthmort 42 Memeston Athletic 44 Lacpingfax City 37
Lefpent Nomads 40 Burnpic 41 Dersley Heath 40 Cilscomh United 37
East Swifts Northing United 39 Ex Town 41 Headware St Reserves 38 Mandon Green 35
Kickstonians 39 Glackfond Manor 40 Chermesters Baneer 38 Ashmoot 35
Sunfield & Deatic 36 Defestendgact City 40 Clapstedge Resermers 38 Gleshuands United 35
Abbey & Telper Amlesonians 35 Billingham & Caddingly 37 Crood Oands 37 Mishope United 33
Croidnort Wenbriars 20 Ranchester Town 36 Clitlowe Town 37 Clithwell Rangers 32
Fackenham 17 Ixbourough Borough Town 36 Burnchington 36 Chambury Sports 31
Toverston Stans 16 Eversfartead Welfare 32 Dortenhipton Rovers 30 Sandity 28
Loonsmead 16 Grewey & Welfians 32 Dorlington Town 27 Barshoughton Athletic 27
Goshworth 15 Eastletic 30 Cockport Town 27 Bixbole Townway United 27
Flackburn & Welm Town 14 Sholton Mine Town 29 Grackley Pineas 26 AFC Dunding 27
Cheston & Sports 10 Dadshoot Peading 29 Bloman United 26 Kingdon Borian 27
Farton 6 Marmington Athletic 26 Belton Rail 22 Fancleton United 26
Stradley Old Lovers 6 Rusthwool & Ilvey 23 Shillington 21 AFC Great Colmes 25
Clood 2 Solresborough Own Reservich 22 Calash St. Leame 21 Hambles Rochester 24
AFC Parkwarchurnst 21 Ebseby Coriels 21 Cointhion & Bille 24
Radcot Landerers 19 Spersder 19 Elsby Athletic 22
Briftle Clupston 17 Bolpseat County 18 Babshock Borough 21
Minbridge Carmlet 12 Lonthenhorth 9 Dorlington Town 20

Down the Clood?

Sorry, Clood fans, but it sure looks like we won’t have to worry about the world being devoured by elder gods for at least another season. Clood have been positively miserable in the Premier League this year, accumulating two draws in 19 league games. In context, that’s on pace to be significantly worse than Derby County’s performance in the 2008-09 Premier League. At least Derby won a game.

For the Parting (from the Premier League)

I like Clood. And if any members of the Clood organization are reading this, I really like Clood. Please don’t hurt my family.

The race for the Golden Boot is LIT.

Looking at the top of the table, the race for the Recurrently Generated Champions League places (note to self: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) are tight, thanks to a raft of talented strikers led by Kickstonians’ Sebastian Hallberg, St. Dertford’s Dan Reed (he’s one of our ooooooooown) and East Swift Northing United’s Belgian giant Bart Lemoine, who is currently keeping the Swifts afloat in eighth place.

Interestingly, the clubs at the top of the table, Leet Welfare and Wodgy Villa, also have the league’s best goal differentials (+48 and +39, respectively) but don’t have any goal scorers in the top five of the Golden Boot race.

The League Cup is playing out as you’d expect.

If you wanted cup drama, well, you’re not getting much. Although four lower-league teams made the quarterfinals of the RGFL Cup, they were all eliminated in that round, leaving the teams in first, fourth, eighth and eleventh to duke it out in the semifinals. We haven’t seen the draw yet, but warm up those ping-pong balls and expect a St. Dertford - Leet Welfare final at Wembley.

Fab Town is having a Manchester City-esque season.

Want the polar opposite of Clood? Try Bodland Fabrdeworth Inyers Alusinby Town (“Fab Town”), who are absolutely dominating the Championship. The Bods are not only undefeated in all competitions, they have only conceded three goals all season and have a goal differential of +72. In December. The question is not “are Fab Town going to promote,” it’s “can they run the table.”

Oh, Sheat...

I don’t have anything too profound to say here, but check out the top of the table in League 1. Sheat, Peepstone Patlife, and Cokers are all battling for promotion, and their team names also makes it sounds like a particularly exciting Friday night.

We’ll have more updates, and possibly some match reports, a little later on.