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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Wednesday, March 21

Some people are bad at eating.

Swansea City v Tottenham Hotspur - The Emirates FA Cup Quarter Final Photo by Richard Heathcote/Getty Images

Hey, everybody!

Since I have already gotten into the habit of sharing weather related updates, I must share that there is more snow coming my way, even though it is technically spring. I have accepted that it will never be warm again.

Ramble of the Day

Yesterday, I read an article about “men who eat like boys,” as the title of C. Brian Smith’s article describes well. I am aware that people have bad eating habits, as I am sure many of you are. These people, though, genuinely surprised me.

Let’s start from the beginning, and by that, I mean from the first paragraph.

Bruce is a 56-year-old man who’s never eaten a vegetable in his life. ... “I’ll straight up gag if I try to swallow vegetables,” he says. “Every single time.”

This does not make sense to me. How can one feel this way about all vegetables? They are not all bad! I would argue most are tasty, but I understand that might not be an appealing argument to someone like Bruce. Still, there are some that are universally appealing, like potatoes. Potatoes are a wonderful vegetable.

Let us continue to Bruce’s meals of choice.

[T]he Scranton, PA father of two subsists primarily on chicken. “Lots and lots of chicken,” he explains — typically oven-roasted with a generous side of mashed potatoes, rice or noodles.

Further proof of my claim that potatoes are universally adored, even by people who do not like vegetables! Also, does Bruce know potatoes are vegetables?

Bruce also likes “a box of mac ’n’ cheese,” which is the worst form of mac ‘n’ cheese! This is not up for debate! Bruce, I do not know you, but I am so disappointed in you.

If you thought Bruce could not get worse, he proved you wrong.

Vegetables hidden in spaghetti sauce used to freak him out — he feared they’d infect the entire plate — but now, he explains, “I just kinda nudge them aside and work my way around the meal.” He does admit, though, that it’s “peculiar to be 56-years-old with all that stuff piling up along the edge of your plate.”

What does he think vegetables are? Poison?

Bruce also believes that he’s “much pickier than others, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.” His healthy lunch option is “a hoagie with ham and Swiss or turkey and nothing else — no spices, no mayo, no veggies — just meat, bread and cheese.” I understand why he may drop the mayonnaise and he obviously has an aversion to vegetables, but why is leaving out the spice? Spices, and by that I mean seasoning, is not bad for you, and you can adjust it to your liking! (I am clearly frustrated.)

I will now stop picking on Bruce, and tell you other things about this article. There are other people who are just like Bruce, like Brad, who once made his girlfriend ask this question: “What adult man regularly drinks chocolate milk with his meals?” There is also Evan, whose bad eating habits come from having a mother who could not cook. There are many others, too, and Smith does an excellent job of telling their stories and explaining why these men might be this way. It’s a fascinating read.

tl;dr: I read an insightful article about people with particularly bad eating habits.

Links of the Day

Fulham has gotten approval to renovate Craven Cottage, and construction is expected to begin in 2019.

Lucas Moura was entertained by a squirrel the other day. (News stories during the international break!)

Gareth Southgate and company have forced the Starbucks at St George’s Park into altering its menu while his England team is training there.

In case you have not seen it yet, David Squires’s latest cartoon is about the FA Cup quarterfinals.

Today’s longer read: Nick Ames on a match fixing scandal in Albania for The Guardian