You asked for it. Heck, some of you positively begged for it. Today, we’re pleased to announce that the Recurrently Generated Football League now has merchandise that you can purchase and proudly wear.

Want to declare to the world that you too support the Clood? Sharing your love of Stradley Old Lovers? Just want to tell others to Fack(enham) off? Now you can!

We have partnered with Teespring.com to bring you the finest print-as-you-order premium merchandise featuring computer-generated fictional English football clubs on the internet. There’s a variety of merch that ranges from $7 for stickers to $39 for hooded sweatshirts. Premium t-shirts start at $23. And all of the profit goes to charity.

Check out our (extremely basic) storefront to see all of the products on sale.

Whoa, that’s pretty expensive for t-shirts, don’t you think?

Yep, it is. But the money isn’t going to us — we’re not getting a dime. All profits from the sale of any RGFL merchandise will automatically benefit the Special Olympics of Maryland, a licensed charity selected by the designer of the RGFL logos and kits, Tyson Whiting. It’s an awesome charity that does great things for special needs athletes in the Baltimore area, and we’re proud to support them.

Besides, you’ll get to join a very exclusive club when you buy this merch that will allow you to painstakingly explain to people what a recurrent neural network is when they ask where Lefpent Nomads play. And won’t it all be worth it the first time someone yells “UP THE CLOOD” at you from across the street?

What’s the deal with the timer and the “campaign” stuff?

Teespring runs on a campaign model where the merchandise sells for a set period of time and orders are printed and shipped at the end of each campaign. Our campaigns are set to auto-renew every three days. What that means for you is that you might have to wait a few extra days before your Loonsmead merch ships, but don’t worry too much about the timer: it’ll just start over again after it expires.

Wait, where are the custom football jerseys? I want one of those!

Boy howdy, so do we. But we scoured the internet and couldn’t find anyone that would make and ship custom football jerseys on demand, and creating them ourselves would be extremely cost prohibitive. Alas. If you are reading this and are the owner of a bespoke custom footy kit company that will print and ship per order, contact me offsite.

Do they have kids’ merchandise?

Sorry, not at this time. If Teespring changes their merch, we’ll consider adding them but until them you’ll have to drape your young child in an adult small. They’ll grow into it, don’t worry, and years from now they’ll thank you for the foresight in purchasing them their favorite Kickstonians top.

Does Teespring ship internationally?

Yes! P&P rates vary, but there is an international rate. It will, of course, add shipping time and cost, but it’ll be worth it for that Wodgy Villa hoodie, right?

ORDER TODAY!