The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Tuesday, April 17

Hello, Hoddlers!

I have triple checked the time of publication, but let’s get on with it.

Ramble of the Day

Last week, Heinz, the company famous for its ketchup, made big news in the states. They created mayochup, a combination of mayonnaise and ketchup.

I was automatically disgusted at the thought of it. I still am and luckily am eating ice cream to distract my taste buds as I write this. I do not mind good mayonnaise, and I love to practice the Dutch method of dipping my fries into the condiment. However, perhaps controversially, I find ketchup to be completely repulsive. It is possibly the worst way to use a tomato, a vegetable that is normally very versatile and can easily be very tasty.

I’m sure some of you just saw me call tomatoes vegetables and wanted to correct me. Let me tell you, I had this argument around once a year in high school. (Don’t ask why.) The Supreme Court of the United States held that a tomato is a vegetable in 1893, and the decision was unanimous. Many came back with the fact that tomatoes have seeds, as do most fruits. They would forget, though, that cucumbers have seeds, as do eggplants and bell peppers, and none of them make it into a fruit salad.

Anyway, back to the revolting condiment. I, for some reason, thought a majority of would join me in agreement that this creation was absolutely unnecessary and detrimental to our society. However, there many Americans that embraced mayochup, which shocked me. As my mom said, “People in America will eat anything.” I agreed and told her that I wanted to move.

My younger sister reminded me of a contestant on Worst Cooks in America, a show where people make very obvious and sometimes hilarious cooking errors, who made a special sauce for a burger challenge. After the judges tasted it, they asked what the sauce was, and she answered that it was a mixture of mayo and ketchup. My younger sister believes she was robbed, in a sense, and should sue. (My older sister, a lawyer that doesn’t practice that type of law, laughed at the suggestion.)

Also, what kind of name is “mayochup?” It is a horrible name, but then again, it matches its product in quality.

tl;dr: I hate mayochup, and also ketchup, and don’t tell me tomatoes are fruits.

Links of the Day

The Associated Press reports that Morocco’s 2026 World Cup bid committee hid the fact that homosexuality is illegal in the nation in their bid book. The policy may put the bid in jeopardy.

Animal rights groups have called treatment of a bear as entertainment before a Russian third division match “utterly out of touch.”

Michy Batshuayi has picked up an ankle injury that has ended his season, and may keep him out of the World Cup.

Today’s longer read: The Independent’s Jack Pitt-Brooke on how Pep Guardiola won the Premier League title his way despite the many critics saying it wasn’t possible