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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Tuesday, April 24

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Skepticism and guessing games.

Manchester United v Tottenham Hotspur - The Emirates FA Cup Semi Final

Hi, everyone!

I can’t get “My Heart Will Go On” out of my head and may have started singing it out loud.

Ramble of the Day

I am naturally skeptical, especially when things that are seemingly complicated end up being fairly convenient. Perhaps it’s a flaw of mine, but I can’t quit the habit. There is someone who just so happens to be more skeptical of me: my mother.

She’s an innocent conspiracy theorist, to tell you the truth. This side of her mostly comes out when she’s watching television, barring her jokes about match fixing after watching 21 Thunder. She tends to sense the melodrama of television shows very easily, and works from there.

For example, we were watching the most recent episode of Madam Secretary. (If you do not want spoilers, skip to the next paragraph.) A group of mostly Hondurans were taken hostage by a gang in the country, but the group included one American. After the President of Honduras told the Secretary of State what was happening, my mother decided how the episode was going to end. “She arranged it,” she said about the fictional Honduran president, almost as soon as the audience learned the information.

Her guesswork, in the past, led to me and my sisters telling her that shows simply just are not that dramatic. Not everyone is deceiving one another. The patients will not always die. A twist is not always coming. We, of course, were not wrong that not every episode of a show is going to have a twist. However, my mom’s senses are very good because she doesn’t say this every time; she says it when the time is right and she almost always gets it right.

It’s like watching an episode of Black Mirror with me guessing at least one character will die in an episode, but her conversion rate is closer to Harry Kane’s while my conversion rate is closer to Troy Deeney’s.

That means, yes, she knew how that Madam Secretary episode would end when it was still in its beginning stages. You would think it would ruin the joy of watching television, but there’s a certain entertainment to seeing how the chips fall and finding out if my mom was actually right and if her streak will end. To be perfectly honest, I can’t remember the last night she got it wrong.

tl;dr: My mother is very good at figuring out twists in television shows before they happen.

Links of the Day

Manchester City goalkeeper Ederson really wants to score a goal.

FIFA president Gianni Infantino has called for an emergency meeting of the powers that be to address the $25 billion for the rights to the Club World Cup.

Crystal Palace have asked fans to sign a petition asking MPs to debate the issue of safe standing in stadium.s

A robot allowed a young Everton fan with much-reduced mobility to be a mascot for yesterday’s match against Newcastle from home.

Today’s longer read: Matthew Hall on building pitches next to subway stops in Atlanta to get more communities involved in football for The Guardian