The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Thursday, April 26

Hi, everyone!

I got a Neymar Panini sticker! Still no Tottenham players, though.

Ramble of the Day

I spent last night watching Tim Sherwood videos. It was like the old days, when he still had a job coaching, and I used to watch Vines made on the internet until I wanted to go to sleep. (Remember Vine? What a good platform for Tim Sherwood content.)

The guy, as you know, is very quotable. For Christmas, my sisters, some of the greatest humans that ever lived, got me this:

(Note: the trading card was something that coincidentally came with someone else’s gift, but it had to be photographed with the mug.)

Anyway, the night of watching Sherwood videos led to me watching my favorite one. Please watch if you have not.

Some good quotes, right? “I ain’t never felt this bad ever” is a classic, as is “It wasn’t a gilet, it’s a coat.” I also love the fairly obvious, “When you’re hot, you’re hot, and when you’re cold, you’re not hot.”

It makes me want to put some of that on a t-shirt, or a mug. Hell, they’d probably look (ironically) good with nature backdrops in the types of inspirational quotes people post on Instagram. (I have a policy to never like pictures of “inspirational” quotes on Instagram, but I’ll save my Instagram pet peeves on a different day.) The hot-cold quote should almost definitely be the slogan of an insulated water bottle company, perhaps financed by Sherwood, or with Sherwood as its spokesperson.

Maybe I’ll start a Tim Sherwood collection. I will need him to get a new job somewhat soon so I can keep the business going. I hear there’s a vacancy at Arsenal...

Now, before I go, I must mentioned that, as I was writing up the part about the insulated water bottles, I thought about how Danny Drinkwater still doesn’t have a sponsorship with some water company. I don’t mean to bring up Leicester City’s title winning season, but so many players got to make some money after that happened. Jamie Vardy got a book deal (and also now has people cracking skittles vodka jokes about him all of the time). Wes Morgan signed a contract with Captain Morgan. Where’s the love for Drinkwater?

Well, I know my dad appreciates Drinkwater’s name quite a lot, but that’s not the point. He doesn’t even need a large company to back him. I don’t know the small water brands in the UK, so perhaps you nice people can share, but maybe he can ink a deal with one of those. Maybe he can even get one with the City of London, though I have no idea if the tap is worth drinking in London! Just get him the water deal he deserves.

Okay, one last thing: What is Vardy’s recipe for skittles vodka? Sounds gross, but I do want to know how exactly he makes his favorite beverage.

tl;dr: Tim Sherwood, Danny Drinkwater, skittles vodka. You should go back and read this.

Links of the Day

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain will miss the World Cup after picking up a knee injury during Liverpool’s Champions League match against Roma.

The EFL has cleared Wolverhampton Wanderers of any wrongdoing in regards to agent Jorge Mendes’s work as an advisor to the team’s owners.

FIFA secretary general Fatma Samoura is being reported to the organization’s ethics committee over an alleged relation to El Hadji Diouf, ambassador to Morocco’s 2026 World Cup bid.

Borussia Dortmund players testified in court yesterday at the trial of the man who attacked the team bus last year.

Today’s longer read: Matt Davis on Las Vegas Lights’ unique first few months of existence, which involves Freddy Adu, marijuana, and llamas for the BBC